SOS Self-care Formula #4: Develop Healthy Boundaries
Many people, especially those who are highly sensitive or empathic, want to learn how to develop healthy boundaries because they are so open to thoughts and energies coming from other people. Sometimes those thoughts get attached in their minds and spin around, causing a great deal of discomfort.
If the pathways remain open, all kinds of trouble (karma, issues, illness or confusion) can pass back and forth between people without their awareness. If left unchecked, this type of attachment can manifest in negativity, sudden and mysterious illnesses, mental confusion, issues with prosperity or chronic states of overwhelm.
It’s a valuable skill to know how to shift your energy and Develop Healthy Boundaries.
Self-care Formula #4 from SOS – Soul Oriented Solutions uses affirmations and the Intuitive Learning Circles to help you learn to consciously close off the pathways to busy or negative thoughts and shift into a more positive mindset. Here’s an example of how it works. Simply gaze softly at the Circle while you contemplate each of these positive affirmations:
“I focus them to be present and aware of appropriate boundaries.”
“I use them to become aware of intrusive thoughts, attachments, illness and confusion so that I can let them go.”
“I focus on a hopeful future and productive actions that will benefit my health and happiness.”
Use Develop Healthy Boundaries when you are:
- Agitated or feeling out of sync
- Distressed by recent news
- Getting negative or anticipating hardship
- Feeling claustrophobic
- Unable to meditate or sit still
- Obsessed with a particular person or situation.
Here’s how it works: Find a quiet place if possible, where you won’t be disturbed for about twenty minutes. Follow the sequence of symbols while you read their accompanying instructions. Gaze gently at each Circle for about two minutes. A longer or shorter time may be necessary.
Mind Body Integration
Let yourself breathe and relax as much as possible. Don’t worry if the images move around or change in any way. That just means the Circles are working and that your mind and body are relaxing.
Be sure to go through the entire formula and at the end, give yourself time to rest and integrate.
Developing a quiet mind and light heart changes your perspective and that makes it easier to follow through with your true priorities.
Gently contemplate each step for clarity and better boundaries…
Step 1. Balance
Begin by consciously breathing in on the count of three and slowly exhaling on the count of five. It’s helpful if you can breathe in through your nose. Do that three or four times while you gently focus on the Circle.
Continue breathing and bring your awareness to your tailbone.
What do you need to get in balance about?
Step 2. Calm
Keep breathing with your belly soft and relaxed.
Let your shoulders drop.
Gaze softly at the Circle and imagine you can turn down the feelings or thoughts that are turned up too high, just like the volume on a radio dial. Be sure to do that both crossed and uncrossed.
What thoughts relax you?
Step 3. Centering
See if you can collect any noisy thoughts or distractions into the center of this Circle. You may sense something like a web or a bunch of strings that have gotten all tangled up with each other. Or, you may get a sense of an open, gaping hole. Whatever it is, bring it all into the center.
Are there any distractions to let go of?
Step 4. Protection
Now that you have all the distractions gathered up, let the next Circle help you close that gaping hole or any other open pathways between you and all those noisy thoughts.
Keep closing the hole until all pathways are completely sealed and healed.
What are you ready to say goodbye to?
Step 5. Beauty
Now you’re ready to shift your attention. Breathe in and exhale. Beauty is everywhere. Consciously turn your attention to it.
Take your time and let the Circle help you call the most majestic, inspiring scene into your mind that you can imagine. Form a mental picture of what it’s like. Imagine the sounds and how it would feel to be there.
What beautiful places have you been or would like to go to?
Step 6. Trust
Come back to your breathing again and notice how calming it is.
You can sense the steady rhythm of your heart.
The gentle expansion and contraction of your lungs.
Breathing in and letting go. Learning to trust.
What can you trust?
Step 7. Intention
Give yourself permission to slow down and focus your energy on your priorities. Turn your attention to what really matters to you. Can you name what’s most important?
Let the Circle help you lift any falsehood or pressure you may feel right up off of you and send it to the Sun. Without all that pressure, it’s easier to know what your true priorities are.
What’s important to you now?
Step 8. Grounding
Gather your resources and get present in your body. Put your feet on the ground and feel your connection with the Earth.
If you like, you can stretch or move around in any way that feels good.
Flexing your fingers and toes can really help.
What do you feel in your body?
Step 9. Surrender
Imagine with each new, relaxing breath you are able to fill your heart with compassion and understanding for yourself.
Let any heaviness you feel lift up and out of you.
Dark clouds are dissolving into blue skies and sunlight.
What can you do that expresses love?
Step 10. Resolution
Before you finish this formula, make a commitment to stay centered and follow through on your priorities. Your health and happiness are important.
You can easily deflect foreign energies, other people’s thoughts or expectations.
It’s genuinely joyful to have a quiet mind and a light heart.
What joyful decisions can you make?
Step 11. Completion
Use the Circle to help you finish closing any harmful pathways that would lead you back to the noise and distractions of the external world.
Close the doors and seal the leaks – as if they were never there.
You are calm and ready to follow through now. Your mind is able to rest now.
How do you feel now?
Finish this formula with some thoughts to come back to…
What are some words of encouragement I could give myself?
What are some ways I could be gentler with myself?
What are some things I am grateful for?
Be sure to give yourself time to rest and integrate. Now might be a good time to take a walk or go out into Nature if you can.
Boundaries & Quieting a Busy Mind is one of nine self-care formulas and mind exercises from SOS Soul Oriented Solutions, a self-help journal for your inner journey from emotional stress to self-love by Rheanni Lightwater.
Specialized Energy Clearing with the Author of Soul Oriented Solutions
If you feel that Develop Healthy Boundaries has helped, but hasn’t addressed all of your needs, Rheanni Lightwater, BFA, CHT, CKP is an expert in the art and science of mind body healing. She has 23+ years experience in dream tending, energy medicine, hypnotherapy and feng shui clearing. Contact her if you still feel exposed, lost, or overwhelmed.
Ms. Lightwater’s mission is to assist people in creating healthy balance and harmony in their lives. Sessions are available online or when you visit Santa Fe. Contact her at 505-271-4612 MST or email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
How to Develop Healthy Boundaries should not be considered as an exclusive method of treatment. The appropriate medical or psychotherapeutic authorities should be consulted for the diagnosis and treatment of any medical or psychological condition. The information and practices described on this website are best considered as an adjunct to orthodox medical or psychological treatments.