SOS Self-care Formula #6: Develop Healthy Boundaries
Many people, especially those who are highly sensitive or empathic, want to learn how to develop healthy boundaries because they are so open to thoughts and energies coming from other people. Sometimes those thoughts get attached in their minds and spin around, causing a great deal of discomfort.
If the pathways remain open, all kinds of trouble (karma, issues, illness or confusion) can pass back and forth between people without their awareness. If left unchecked, this type of attachment can manifest in negativity, sudden and mysterious illnesses, mental confusion, issues with prosperity or chronic states of overwhelm.
It’s a valuable skill to know how to shift your energy and Develop Healthy Boundaries.
Mind Exercise #8 from SOS for Compassion Fatigue uses affirmations and the Intuitive Learning Circles to help you learn to consciously close off the pathways to intruding or negative thoughts establish healthy protection and shift into a more positive mindset. Here’s an example of how it works. Simply contemplate each step for clarity and better boundaries.
Use Develop Healthy Boundaries when you are:
- Agitated or feeling out of sync
- Distressed by recent news
- Getting negative or anticipating hardship
- Feeling claustrophobic
- Unable to meditate or sit still
- Obsessed with a particular person or situation.
Remember that the Circles will take you as light or deep as you want to go. As a result, it may take you 45 – 60 minutes or more to get through this version completely. If you need a simpler, change of perspective you can go to Clear Boundaries for A Busy Mind instead.
If you’re in the right place, here’s how it works: Find a quiet place if possible, where you won’t be disturbed. Follow the sequence of symbols while you read their accompanying instructions. Gaze gently at each Circle for about two minutes. A longer or shorter time may be necessary.
Mind Body Integration
For best results, look at each symbol both crossed over the midline of the body and uncrossed so that the correction is more complete.
Let yourself breathe and relax as much as possible. Don’t worry if the images move around or change in any way. That just means the Circles are working and that your mind and body are relaxing.
Be sure to rest as needed during the exercise and at the end, give yourself time to get away completely to integrate. In the long run, it’ll be worth it. Developing a quiet mind and light heart changes your perspective and makes it easier to follow through with your true priorities.
Developing a quiet mind and light heart changes your perspective and that makes it easier to follow through with your true priorities.
Step 1. Balance
Begin by consciously breathing in on the count of three and slowly exhaling on the count of five. It’s helpful if you can breathe in through your nose. Do that three or four times while you gaze softly at the Circle.
Continue breathing and bring your awareness to your tailbone.
What do you need to get in balance about?
Step 2: Decision
In order to develop healthy boundaries in this situation, there are decisions that you need to benefit you. Be clear about what you actually want for yourself and how you’d like to respond. Use the Circle to help you synchronize the decision making parts of your mind.
Note: Negative or wishy-washy requests get negative, wishy-washy results. Overly idealistic, ambitious or unrealistic requests tend to create chaos and overwhelm.
Think it through and write down a positive declaration for yourself.
What results do you actually want to experience?
Step 3. Letting Go
Your decision might bring up conflicts or you may have experienced a recent shock that’s blocking your ability to move forward. Use this Circle to relax and melt away any hard thoughts, feelings or resistance that blocks your ability to take affirmative action.
The key is to relax into whatever you’re experiencing and breathe. You can imagine that the lines in the Circle are going limp and moving around like wet noodles.
What tension or worry do you need to let go of?
Let go of inner conflicts like holding onto self-doubt or lacking self-respect, etc.
Step 4. Protection
This symbol encourages you to develop healthy boundaries by providing an improved interface with your environment. We all need assistance in making the transition from the old paradigm of Water (Piscean Age) to the new paradigm of Air (Aquarian Age). Relax and close down all heavy or destructive energy channels that your mind or body may be open and vulnerable to.
Do you feel a sense of protection?
Continue to contemplate the symbol both crossed and uncrossed over the midline of your body until you feel protection all around.
Imagine the lines coming together in the center for improved communication.
Step 5. Natural Instincts
Continue to relax. Use this Circle to gather up your natural gifts, talents and instincts so you can organize them in a way that will help you reclaim and strengthen your boundaries.
Make sure you’re relaxed and you’ve got your feet on the ground to help you get back in touch with the things that really matter. Activate your gut instincts, engage your Essence and the power that comes from your Soul.
What will help you connect with your instincts?
Step 6. Intention
Give yourself permission to slow down even more so you can effectively concentrate your energy on your new decision. Turn your awareness to what would really need to happen in order for you to follow through successfully.
For example, you’ll want to know if you’re distracted, internalizing something or trying to take care of something that isn’t yours to be concerned with.
What is the necessary information I need from my unconscious mind?
Don’t worry. You don’t need to have it all figured out. The issue may be too confusing to make sense of it yet.
Just let the Circle help you percolate what’s involved with this boundary issue.
Step 7. Soul Color
You may be taking on unknown algorithm or vibration without being aware of it. Using your own Soul Color and vibration will strengthen your autonomy, integrity and good health. To help you find it, remember a time when you successfully manifested something physical. What color comes to mind?
“I recognize my Soul’s unique color vibration.”
“I know who I am. I distinguish my energy from the energy of others.”
“All aspects of my Essence are willing to utilize my Soul Color for clarity and success.”
Step 8. Centering
Connect your new decision with the strength and integrity of your Soul. Bring in your Soul Color and conscious awareness to amplify this affirmation:
“I decide to connect with the truth of my Soul and take care of myself.”
When you’re ready, notice where you are in your room or environment.
What is to the left of you and what is to the right of you?
Make sure that you’re centered in your own body.
“I am inside of me. Everything else is outside.”
Step 9. Empowerment
Empower your ability to follow through with your decision.
“I exist and am empowered to the Source in my heart center.”
“I nourish myself with courage, confidence and wisdom.”
“I am empowered to take good care of myself and develop healthy boundaries.”
“I am empowered to maintain my confidence, courage and
Individual sense of self-respect, self worth, etc.”
Continue by making your own affirmations that apply to your decision:
“I am empowered to _____________.”
Step 10. Calm
Now it’s time to clear out all that excess or negative energy.
Keep breathing with your belly soft and relaxed. Let your shoulders drop. Continue using your Soul Color with this Chart to expel excess energy from your nervous system. Slow down and clear away noise, clutter and static.
Come back into the calm and rhythm of your Soul.
What thoughts help to relax you?
Step 11. Repair
If you’re having trouble, this Correction Key can help you correct any blockages, rough static, glitches or reversals that might be causing trouble in your energy field.
Relax with it for a few minutes until things smooth out.
Be sure to do that both crossed and uncrossed over the midline of your body until you feel the energy of your Soul beginning to come through.
Is there anything else you need to do to repair your energy field?
Step 12. Perception
It helps to see things the way they really are.
Gaze softly at this Circle and imagine you can adjust the feelings or thoughts that are turned up too high or too low, just like the volume on a radio.
“I decide to perceive this situation clearly and calmly.”
What are you seeing differently about this situation?
Step 13. Change
In order to follow through with your new healthy boundaries, some things are going to have to change. Identify what needs to happen:
“Does something need to change?”
“What do I need to do differently to develop healthy boundaries?”
“What actions would help me?”
If you’re not clear yet, keep going with the exercise.
You may need a few more easy corrections before the truth emerges.
Step 14. Resolution
You probably need to change some agreements or do some things differently. To help you find out what they are, examine what causes anxiety or confusion for you when you consider these affirmations:
“I decide to stay centered and follow through on the highest good.”
“My health and happiness are important.”
“I easily deflect foreign energies and other people’s thoughts or expectations.”
There is always more than one way to approach a situation.
What new approach do you need to take? What agreements need to change?
Step 15. Detachment
There may be attachments or karmic entanglements blocking your solution.
Use this Detachment Key to let go of them. Relax and meditate on it for several minutes. Like a healing balm, imagine that a loving coat of peace and comfort is pouring down over you.
Are you willing to neutralize interfering energies and detach from them?
If not, are you willing to back up and change the agreement that binds you to them?
Step 16. Freedom
Allow this symbol for dissolving destructive blueprints to clear underlying patterns of confusion, abuse and neglect out of your mind.
Let any remaining heaviness or karmic entanglements about this situation lift up and off of you.
Dark clouds are dissolving into blue skies and sunlight.
Please note: It’s time to stop sending painful emotions and destructive energies into the Earth, she already has too much to handle now. Use the Earth for planting seeds of happiness and life – not death!
Step 17. Closure
Use the Circle to help you close any harmful openings or pathways that would leave you open to the distractions and interference of the external world.
Close the doors and seal the leaks – as if they were never there.
You are calm and ready to follow through now. Your mind is able to rest.
How do you feel now? Are you heading in the right direction?
If not, imagine that your Soul is turning you to face the right direction.
Step 18. Clean Up
A necessary part of maintaining healthy boundaries to make sure that we don’t get sucked back into unhealthy dynamics again. Otherwise, we’ll just get entangled again!
Take the time now to deconstruct any harmful habits or leftover emotional dramas that have been draining your energy. Fill in any voids with loving gratitude.
Are you experiencing any more drains to your energy?
Step 17. Completion
Finally, allow this Circle to make sure you’ve let go of all harmful ties, cords or vows that you may have entered into that would cause you to unknowingly continue participating in neglect or abuse:
“I let go of all harmful vows or obligations
to be connected to dangerous energies or abusive situations.”
Do you feel as though you have a healthy sense of completion?
If so, congratulations! Give yourself time to rest and integrate.
Take a walk or enjoy some time out in Nature.
This Mind Exercise is Part of Spirit Animal Tracks for Self-healing
Specialized Energy Clearing with the Author of Soul Oriented Solutions
If you feel that Develop Healthy Boundaries has helped, but hasn’t addressed all of your needs, Rheanni Lightwater, BFA, CHT, CKP has 25+ years experience in the art and science of mind body healing. Contact her for a private session if you still feel off track or overwhelmed.
Ms. Lightwater’s mission is to assist people in creating healthy balance and harmony in their lives through Reiki, Energy Medicine, Hypnotherapy and Feng Shui space clearing. Sessions are available online or when you visit Santa Fe. Contact her at 505-271-4612 MST or email: [email protected].
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Disclaimer:
How to Develop Healthy Boundaries should not be considered as an exclusive method of handling stress. Soul Resources LLC and Rheanni Lightwater are not licensed to practice medicine. The appropriate medical or psychotherapeutic authorities should be consulted for the diagnosis and treatment for any medical or psychological condition. The information and practices described on this website are best considered educational and complementary to orthodox medical or psychological treatments.
