Nourish Healthy Relationships

Did you know that you instinctively know the difference between toxic and healthy relationships?

Kuan Yin's Transformation GamesThe intent of this Transformation Game is to help you identify healthy relationships that are actually nourishing to you in your current situation. A relationship may have been healthy at one time and is now going through a change. Or, you may be starting a whole new journey in a whole new place!

Start by choosing a relationship that is integral to your well-being, one that you know you need help with and are willing to look at honestly. Examples might be: a romantic partner, a business partnership, a family member or a previous relationship. This exercise can also help you identify helpful team members, such as a health practitioner you’re working with or another professional you’re thinking of hiring.

Mind Body IntegrationMind Body Integration

For best results playing a Transformation Game, look at each Circle both crossed over the midline of the body and uncrossed so that the correction is more complete.

Transformation Games can help you to identify problems, change your focus to positive solutions, ground yourself and get in the present. Simply relax and gaze at the Circles while contemplating the positive affirmations or questions. Your intuition will come forward and give you the help that you seek.

Recognizing Healthy Relationships

The Solar Plexus Chakra is key to knowing whether or not a relationship is nourishing or toxic to you. Nourish Healthy RelationshipsYour gut feeling is the best lie detector and has all the information it needs about healthy relationships – as long as you’re present and paying attention! It’s just that for some reason, the information is being blocked from your conscious awareness and you can’t see the signs.

Take a moment and relax with this Reiki Chakra Key for your solar plexus to help you get present. Use the positive affirmations if they help or come up with one of your own.

“I am present and open to my gut instincts. I trust myself.”

“I am _____________________.”

Your Essential Self is most efficiently positioned and grounded there to help you manifest, create happiness and maintain your health.

In stressful times, it’s pretty common for the Essential Self to get closed off, misplaced or dissociated. You can correct that now with this Soul Prayer Chart.

Make sure that you have a sense that your Essence is facing forward and up right.


There are several ways that gut instinct gets blocked. Two that are particularly relevant in times like these are being in too much of a hurry and getting distracted. 

Distractions keep us from taking good care of ourselves. If we’re always busy, busy, busy and not paying attention to our basic needs, we’re asking for trouble.

Of course we have all kinds of excuses that make it seem all right.  “I ran out of time… I have to get this done… there’s too much going on…” etc.

Check your response to these statements and notice if you get stuck on either of them: 

“I get distracted. I get in too much of a hurry. I overlook my gut feeling.”


So, let’s slow down and think about the source of your relationship trouble. Relax into it. Is there a particular person, group or relationship system that seems to be at the core of the problem?

Healthy Relationships

Sadly, many of us we spend too much time or energy on toxic relationships that aren’t particularly good for us. You know the kind I’m talking about:

  • the wolf in sheep’s clothing that uses flattery to charm and disarm you.
  • the whiners that are oh, so good at making you feel sorry for them.
  • the wunderkinds who go out of their way to impress you.
  • the meddlers who insert themselves into things that are none of their business
  • or bullies that just want to intimidate and make you miserable.

Are you attracting a lot of that? 

If your answer is “no” count yourself lucky. You must have very good relationship karma!

If your answer is “yes,” go ahead and continue this mind exercise to see what might be going on…

Slow Down and Focus

Let’s see what’s going on for you by experimenting with one of our Intuitive Learning Circles for slowing down and focusing on what’s really important.

“I slow down and focus on what I need when it comes to my  _______ relationships.”

If you’re thinking about a particular relationship, it’s worth your time to really slow down and ask yourself a couple of honest questions:

“What is my concern about this particular relationship?”

Clarify the nature of the relationship. Is this person a friend, business associate, boss, family, lover, etc.?

“What is the confusion about?”



Check for Good Boundaries

Most relationships have their own irritations, resistances and rough patches. Where is the irritation in this relationship? What is it about?

Are you taking something personally or internalizing something that isn’t yours? Are you being codependent in some way?

If so, use this Circle to help you open your energy up wide and let those irritations go. Send it all to the Light!
Once you’re done, close your energy back up.
What else what might you do to soothe the situation?


Examine Emotional Reactions

Sometimes people trigger emotional responses in us that come out of our childhood conditioning or earlier relationships. A certain familiar tip of the head or tone of voice can be very potent.

Most of the time, the people in our relationships have no idea about what’s happening. You have very little power over them. However, you can be responsible for your own reactions. Ask yourself:

“What is the main emotion or emotions I’m feeling when around this person?” 

“Does it happen only in certain situations?”

“Does this relationship remind me of another person? A painful experience?”

Could you be experiencing a projection – a  harmful attitude, a phobia or an obsession?

If so, imagine you can pop that projection, just like a bubble! There could be more than one, so imagine popping them all away!


Clear the Remaining Clutter

Sometimes we attract disturbing or stressful relationship issues because our minds are cluttered up with disturbing, stressful thoughts.

Imagine that you can use this Circle to clear the clutter out of the landscape of your mind. Sweep all that junk and chaos out of your head and send it to the Light! You might be surprised at how much clutter there is!

That’s one of the reasons why people like to meditate. It’s a great way to develop a regular habit of clearing debris out of the mind!


Evaluate How You’re Using Your Energy to Nourish Healthy Relationships.

Now that you’re present, focused and clear, you can get some accurate information about how you’re nourishing yourself. This section can give you all kinds of answers that could really help you make a big improvement in your happiness. All you have to do is relax and gaze softly at the center open space of this Circle while you ask yourself a few questions. Use a scale of one to ten to evaluate what’s going on (one being lousy and ten being great!). Be sure to listen to your gut and be receptive to the answers that come.

Ask yourself when it comes to this person:

On a scale of one to ten:

“How is this person nourishing me- Emotionally?

What, if anything, is missing?

Is there a beneficial exchange of energy?

Have I closed myself off in some way?

What, if anything, could be done to cultivate a more healthy relationship?


Release or Renegotiate Agreements

Most rules about relationships are rooted in old ideas and systems that we grew up with as children.

In the New Paradigm, a lot of those old agreements and assumptions cause problems and keep us from having truly healthy relationships.

In this particular relationship, what agreements need to be amended, reformed or let go of entirely?

“I let go of ___________.”
“I reform ________.”
“I amend my agreement to ______.”
“I stop participating in ________.”
“I uproot ______,  _______, &_________.”


Connect with the New, Life Affirming Channels of Communication.

Install this symbol like a sort of filter for the Solar Plexus Chakra.

“I adapt to the generative flow of chi’ to the best of my ability.”

“I close down harmful energy channels from the past.”

“I connect to new, life affirming channels of communication.”


“I’m open to receiving the most nourishing and life affirming energy available in my environment.”


Release the Mental/ Emotional Patterns

Imagine that this symbol for Dissolving Destructive Blueprints can help you identify and dissolve any toxic imprints or patterns that may be preventing healthy relationships. You might see them as a dark cloud dissolving into the pure light of the Sun.

“I release the blockages and entanglements that keep me from  experiencing healthy relationships.”

“I release patterns that keep me from experiencing joy.”

I dissolve any old ideas, plans or relationship systems at would contradict my highest good or cause me harm.”

Please note: We also need to cultivate a healthy relationship with our planet! Never send destructive energies into the Earth, she already has too much to handle now. Use the Earth for planting seeds of happiness and life – not death!


Let Go of Old, Outdated Intentions

Gaze softly into the center of this Circle and see ancient intentions like eggs or seeds waiting to be activated. Not only do you see your own intentions and prayers, but also cultural, ancestral goals that no longer have life affirming motivations behind them.

Visualize them like ingredients in a soup that is spoiling your genuinely desired outcome. Imagine you can scoop out any unpreferred intentions and send them to the Light:

“I let go of all intentions that would contradict my highest good, cause confusion or conflict in how we all create healthy relationships.”


Release the Karma 

Release any seeds of karma that perpetuate habits and beliefs that keep you from nourishing healthy relationships properly. Send them to the Light for purification.

“I plant new karmic seeds for good things that will support my new choices. I nourish those seeds with love, Light, fresh water and healthy intentions.”


Close the Door on Suffering and Unhealthy Pathways

Now it’s time to close the door on all that confusion and move in the direction of nourishing yourself appropriately. 

Closure for Mind Body Healing

“I close the door on any drain or strain on my time, space, attention or energy.”

“I follow the direction of my Soul’s protection.”

Congratulations! You’ve just let go of harmful energies, emotions and misunderstandings. Now you can begin to set the stage for NOURISHING healthy relationships appropriately.

Be sure to take time to rest and relax. Take a walk or get out into nature if you can!

This Mind Exercise is Part of Animal Totem Tracks for Self-healing

Explore Animal Totem Tracks for Self-healing

Find out about Intuition Training for Personal Growth with us!

Specialized Energy Clearing with the Author of Soul Oriented Solutions

Rheanni Lightwater - Emotional Stress
Rheanni Lightwater, Reiki Master Teacher

If you feel that Nourishing Healthy Relationship has helped, but hasn’t addressed all of your needs, Rheanni Lightwater, BFA, CHT, CKP has 25+ years experience in the art and science of mind body healing. Contact her for a private session if you still feel confused or overwhelmed.

Ms. Lightwater’s mission is to assist people in creating healthy balance and harmony in their lives through energy medicine, hypnotherapy and feng shui clearing. Sessions are available online or when you visit Santa Fe. Contact her at 505-271-4612 MST or email: [email protected].

This game should not be considered as an exclusive method of treatment. The appropriate medical or psychotherapeutic authorities should be consulted for the diagnosis and treatment of any medical or psychological condition. The information and practices described on this website are best considered as an adjunct to orthodox medical or psychological treatments.

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