Nourish Healthy Relationships

Did you know that you instinctively know the difference between toxic and healthy relationships?

The Solar Plexus Chakra is key to knowing whether or not a relationship is nourishing or toxic to you. Healthy RelationshipsYour gut feeling is the best lie detector and has all the information it needs about healthy relationships – as long as you’re present and paying attention! It’s just that for some reason, the information is being blocked from your conscious awareness and you can’t see the signs.

Take a moment and relax with this Reiki Chakra Key for your solar plexus to help you get present. Use the positive affirmations if they helps or come up with one of your own.

“I am present and open to my gut instincts. I trust myself.”

“I am _____________________.”

Your Essential Self is most efficiently positioned and grounded there to help you manifest, create happiness and maintain your health.

In stressful times, it’s pretty common for the Essential Self to get closed off, misplaced or dissociated. You can correct that now with this Soul Prayer Chart.

Make sure that you have a sense of your Essence facing forward and up right.


There are several ways that gut instinct gets blocked. Two that are particularly relevant in times like these are being in too much of a hurry and getting distracted. 

Distractions keep us from taking good care of ourselves, because if we’re always busy, busy, busy and not paying attention to our basic needs, we’re asking for trouble.

Of course we have all kinds of excuses that make it seem all right.  “I ran out of time… I have to get this done… there’s too much going on…” etc.

Check your response to these statements and notice if you get stuck on either of them: 

“I get distracted.”

 “I get in too much of a hurry.”

So, let’s slow down and think about the source of your relationship trouble. Relax into it. Is there a particular person, group or relationship system that seems to be at the core of the problem?

Healthy Relationships

Sadly, many of us we spend too much time or energy on toxic relationships that aren’t particularly good for us. You know the kind of people I’m talking about:

  • the wolf in sheep’s clothing that uses flattery to charm and disarm you.
  • the whiners that are oh, so good at making you feel sorry for them.
  • the wunderkinds who go out of their way to impress you.
  • or bullies that just want to intimidate and make you miserable.

Are you attracting a lot of that? 

If your answer is “no” count yourself lucky. You must have very good relationship karma!

If your answer is “yes,” go ahead and continue this extra-intuitive mind exercise to see what’s going on…

Slow Down and Focus

Let’s see what’s going on for you by experiment with one of our Intuitive Learning Circles for slowing down and focusing on what’s really important.

“I slow down and focus on what I need when it comes to my  _______ relationships.”

If you’re thinking about a particular relationship, it’s worth your time to really slow down and ask yourself a couple of honest questions:

“What is my concern about this particular relationship?”

Clarify the nature of the relationship – friend, business associate, boss, family, lover, etc.

“What is the confusion about?”



Check for Good Boundaries

Most relationships have their own irritations, resistances and rough patches. Where is the irritation in this relationship? What is it about?

Are you taking something personally or internalizing something that isn’t yours? Are you being codependent in some way?

If so, use this Circle to help you open your energy up wide and let those irritations go. Send it all to the Sun!

What else what might you do to soothe the situation?


Examine Emotional Reactions

Sometimes people trigger certain emotional responses in us that come out of our childhood conditioning or earlier relationships. A certain tip of the head or tone of voice can be very potent.

Most of the time, the people in our relationships have no idea about what’s happening. You may have very little power over them. However, you can be responsible for your own reactions. Ask yourself:

“What is the main emotion or emotions I’m feeling when around this person?” 

“Does it happen only in certain situations?”

“Does this relationship remind me of another person? A painful experience?”

Could you be experiencing a harmful attitude, a phobia or an obsession?


Clear the Clutter

Sometimes we attract disturbing or stressful situations because our minds are cluttered up with disturbing, stressful thoughts.

Imagine that you can use this Circle to clear out the landscape of your mind. Sweep all that junk and chaos out of your head and send it to the Sun! You might be surprised at how much clutter there is!

That’s one of the reasons people like to meditate. It’s a great way to develop a regular habit of clearing debris out of the mind!


Evaluate How You’re Using Your Energy to Nourish Yourself.

Now that you’re present, focused and clear, you can get some accurate information about how to nourish yourself. If you follow the directions, you can get all kinds of answers that could really help you make a big improvement in your happiness. All you have to do is relax and gaze softly at the center open space of this Circle while you ask yourself a few questions. Use a scale of one to ten to evaluate what’s going on (one being lousy and ten being great!). Be sure to listen to your gut and be receptive to the answers that come.

On a scale of one to ten:

Ask yourself when it comes to this person:

“How is this person nourishing me- Emotionally?
What, if anything, is missing?
Is there a beneficial exchange
of energy?
Have I closed myself off
in some way?
What, if anything, could be done to improve the relationship?


Release or Renegotiate Agreements

Most rules about relationships are rooted in old ideas and systems that we grew up with as children.

In the New Paradigm, a lot of those old agreements and assumptions cause problems and keep us from having truly nourishing relationships.

In this particular relationship, what agreements need to be amended, reformed or let go of entirely?

“I let go of ___________.”
“I reform ________.”
“I amend my agreement to ______.”
“I stop participating in ______.”
“I uproot ______,  _______, &_________.”


Release the Mental/ Emotional Patterns

Imagine that this symbol for Dissolving Destructive Blueprints can help you identify and dissolve any toxic imprints or patterns that may be perpetuating harm. You might see them as a dark cloud dissolving into the pure light of the Sun.

“I release the blockages and entanglements that keep me from  experiencing healthy nourishment.”

“I release patterns that keep me from experiencing joy.”

Let Go of Old, Outdated Intentions

Gaze softly into the center of this Circle and see ancient intentions like eggs or seeds waiting to be activated. Not only do you see your own intentions and prayers, but also cultural, ancestral goals that no longer have life affirming motivations behind them. 

Visualize them like ingredients in a soup that is spoiling your genuinely desired outcome. Imagine you can scoop out any unpreferred intentions and send them to the Sun:

“I let go of all intentions that would contradict my highest good or cause conflict in how I’m nourishing myself.”


Release the Karma 

Release any seeds of karma that perpetuate habits and beliefs that keep you from nourishing yourself properly and send them to the light.

“I plant new karmic seeds for good things that will support my new choices. I nourish those seeds with love, light, fresh water and healthy nutrition.”


Close the Door on Suffering and Unhealthy Pathways

Now it’s time to close the door on all that toxicity and move in the direction of nourishing yourself appropriately. 

Closure for Mind Body Healing

“I close the door on any drain or strain on my time, space, attention or energy.”

Congratulations! You’ve just set the stage to let go of harmful energies and emotions and begin moving in the direction of NOURISHING yourself appropriately.  Be sure to take time to rest and relax. Take a walk or get out into nature if you can!


For More Help Navigating the Flow – Check Out Todays Intuitive Reading >

Rheanni LightwaterRheanni Lightwater CHT, CKT lives and practices in Santa Fe, NM. She specializes in mind body healing with family and relationship clearing using Kinesiology, the Intuitive Learning Circles™, Reiki as a Master/Teacher, Hypnotherapy and Shamanic Clearing Techniques.

Schedule with Rheanni via Zoom, FaceTime or in person when you visit Santa Fe, New Mexico. Call her at (505) 271-4612 between 10:00am – 5:00pm, MST, Monday through Friday to schedule.

This game should not be considered as an exclusive method of treatment. The appropriate medical or psychotherapeutic authorities should be consulted for the diagnosis and treatment of any medical or psychological condition. The information and practices described on this website are best considered as an adjunct to orthodox medical or psychological treatments.

Reduce Confusion

Do You Need to Reduce Confusion?

Welcome to an energy clearing that uses the Intuitive Learning Circles to help you set things right and reduce confusion by releasing and/or renegotiating key Soul Contracts and agreements.

If you are in the process of changing your career, where you live, your relationships or your priorities, you’re finding out how much energy old identities hold and how hard it can be to let them go. The stories we hold about ourselves are powerful and take a lot of energy.

Perhaps you’re a Mom and the kids have left home. Maybe the career you invested in is no longer relevant. You may have retired or decided that the whole way you’ve been doing relationships is harmful to your well being.

So often, when we want a change, we want it to happen quickly!

However, it’s easy to forget that you had agreements around those relationships and activities. They literally structured how you went about your day. The habits, memories and intentions that came with them helped you generate your life up until this point and have become part of your identity. That identity could also have roots in collective, past life or ancestral experiences. Regardless of how they got there, they are all important and need to be tended to, even the difficult ones!

To Reduce Confusion it’s important to examine Soul Contracts and other agreements to see if they need to be either:

  • Kept
  • Released completely or
  • Re-negotiated to adjust to what’s needed now.

You may say, “I don’t have time for this right now. I need to move on. It doesn’t really matter, does it?” Yes, it does matter, because you matter. Your relationships matter. What you do matters. If you just barge forward into what you want to do now, without handling your agreements, you’re going make things harder for everyone – especially yourself.

If you are willing to slow down just a little, and make it a priority now rather than later, you can free up a lot of repressed or suppressed energy. Even more importantly, you’ll be amazed at how much conflict and confusion you can bypass altogether!

When you can be fully present and without attachments to the old story, whatever your future holds will have much less baggage.

A wise person once said, “when one door closes, another one opens.” and  “what you put out, comes back to you.” The principles behind negotiating healthy agreements absolutely concur with those ideas. If we don’t change our agreements – especially institutional, cultural agreements – the old stories will keep coming back to us even when we thought we had outgrown them!

The intention of this mind exercise is to acknowledge who you’ve been and where you’ve come from by saying goodbye with respect so that you are truly free and open to create your new identity!

In this experience, you’re going to create a ceremony for reducing confusion and preparing for a prosperous new beginning by using your imagination, intuition and common sense to paint a new picture. All you need to do is relax and gaze softly at the Circles while you follow the directions that go along with each one. If you want, bring along something to write on  and draw with!

Mind Body Integration

Mind Body Integration - Self-care for loss

For best results, look at each symbol both crossed over the midline of your body and uncrossed so that the correction is more complete.

Feel free to move at anytime in any way to help you embody your experience!

Begin by bringing in your Soul and Higher Self to oversee the process of tending your agreements.

Old Soul


Breathe deeply and open up communication with your heart and Soul. Doing this will help you to know what’s truly important to you about making this transition safely.


The Importance of Agreements

The mind works through agreements. Transitioning out of an identity and setting up a new life goes so much easier when you release agreements with the parts of your life that are over and done with.

That includes the contracts or agreements around relationships: the people, the places and the organizations that you’re going to be moving away from. Those relationships may not be over, but surely they are going to change! Free up your energy with this Circle and let go of those agreements.

“I let go of all Soul Agreements that are complete – over and done with.  I allow the necessary changes to take place.”

See old debts, vows and resentments burn up like old contracts in a beautiful, violet flame.

If you’ve completed an important project with a person, an organization or a special place, acknowledge it by releasing that contract into the fire. This would include places you used to live in, raising any children, building a career, finishing school or being in a relationship of any kind.

You have completed that project successfully and what you did with that mattered!


You also have agreements with yourself that need to be released or renegotiated in order to reduce confusion about who you are.

You may have made an agreement with yourself about yourself when you were younger. You may have given way your power, your space or even your body! If those agreements are still operating somewhere in your psyche, you can release them now with this Circle.

Your nervous system holds the energy of those agreements. To let go, start at the bottom of the line and the bottom of your spine.

As you move up, you can imagine locks unlocking – freeing each vertebrae from the chains of outdated, oppressive agreements – all the way up to the top of your spine. Be sure to do that both crossed and uncrossed. Here’s some suggestions:

“I let go of being abused, disempowered, confused or disrespected. I am free of any enslavement. My Soul is now in charge of who I am and how I behave.” 

I let go of finished agreements around the identity of __________.”

I release agreements that interfere with my health, my productivity, prosperity and self-confidence.” “I decide that my body and mind is no longer a place for _______ or ________.” “I utilize my gifts and talents to create ________ and ________.” Etc. You get the idea!


Reduce Confusion by “Setting Things Right”.

A helpful metaphor for setting things right is to think of your life like a puzzle. That puzzle consists of many pieces – like your karma and other aspects of your Soul or Essential Self, including various skills, dreams, talents and gifts.

If you don’t have all your puzzle pieces or if you’ve gotten your pieces mixed up in someone else’s puzzle, things won’t come together correctly.

Think about it. If you have a box of puzzle pieces from five different puzzles, it’s going to be very difficult to sort out what really needs to happen. Whose puzzle is it?Until you set things right, you will be confused and unable to put it all together.

Use these positive affirmations to help you set things right:
“My life is a puzzle that I’m putting together. I’m willing to set things right in accordance with what I need now.”

“I decide to release any piece that does not belong with me and call back the pieces that do. I decide that everyone can easily make the changes their Soul wants to make.”

Visualize your new puzzle coming together, with every piece in place!


Open and Balance Your Third Chakra.

Relax and let your 3rd Chakra get connected, open and balanced at your solar plexus (the area where your ribs go up in the front).

Your Essential Self is most efficiently located there to help you manifest, create happiness and maintain health.

In stressful times, it’s pretty common for the Essential Self to get closed off, misplaced or dissociated. You can correct that now.


Now You’re Ready to Clear Up Old Baggage.

With this new awareness, you can go into more detail. Consciously let go of anything that doesn’t really belong to you and needs to be returned. A lot of this is energetic in nature so, it’s best to imagine those things going to the Light. If you think of something that you actually, physically need to return to someone, make a note of it and plan to return it.

“I decide to reduce confusion by returning anything that belongs to someone else. That includes their confusion! All debts and confusions are set right.”

Do that both crossed and uncrossed.


Establish Autonomy.

You can do the same with people. Maybe there are a few people that still cling to you for reasons of their own. It could be neediness, fear, anger, jealousy, co-dependence or any kind of pain and suffering. They need their energy to help themselves, so send it back to them or wherever it belongs so that everyone is free to move on.


Establish Reciprocity.

As part of setting things right, you need to reciprocate. For example, there could be some people that you cling to as well. You will want to reclaim your authority by recalling all parts and/or functions that have attached to others but really belong with you.

“I call back all parts of myself that have attached to others for any reason.”

Include your personal power, your energy, dreams, special abilities, talents and gifts. You will need these things as you move into your new identity.

Note: If you’re willing to let go of any harmful intentions, grudges or resentments, you’ll be doing everyone a favor – especially you! Remember, what you put out comes back to you, so it’s in your own best interests to put those conflicts to rest through forgiveness and sending them to the Light.

If you like, you can imagine a beautiful rainbow opening up to you with a place for you to surrender your resentments and disagreements. All debts are forgiven.


Heal the Wounds.

Use this chart to relax and mend any wounds that are associated with setting things right. Like a healing balm, imagine that a loving coat of peace and comfort is pouring down over you.



Now It’s Time to Call Back Your Essence.

This is like a Soul Retrieval. Use this chart to call back all parts of your Essence that may have gotten lost or fragmented along the way in your life.

“I reclaim my Essence with appreciation and gratitude.” 

Energy Medicine for the New Paradigm

Note: It’s worth it to think back on any special places or experiences you’ve released your agreements with. A fragmented part of yourself could very likely be stuck or wandering around in those places. Call them back so that you can live in wholeness!


Get Grounded and Centered in your Solar Plexus Chakra.

Your Essential Self functions best when it’s unified and positioned in your Solar Plexus Chakra. Envision your Self standing upright and facing forward to enhance your gut instinct.

“I position myself correctly to manifest my Soul’s purpose.”


Clear Destructive Emotional or Mental Patterns.

Dissolve any harmful mental or emotional patterns with this symbol. See those attachments or behavioral structures like a large cloud bank that you can consciously send to the Light. See them dissolve into pure sunlight – the darkness all gone.

The Light can safely transmute, transform and complete this stage of your journey.

“I let the Light shine in.”


When One Door Closes, Another One Opens.

Before moving on, bring completion to this process. Let this Circle help you close those old doors and pathways so that you can reduce confusion and your new path can become clear.

“All old doors, holes or pathways are sealed and healed.

I follow the direction of healthy protection.” 


Let go of the old habits and behaviors of your old identity and close the drain that they stole from your time, energy and environment.


Download Important Soul Information.

Next, take a deep breath and relax your body. Allow your Soul to download its resources – its wisdom and insight for your journey:

“I am filled with the wisdom of my spirit.”

This is a good time to move around and stretch if you want to.

Express Gratitude By Getting Grounded.

Finally! Thank all the people, places and experiences that have been a part of your life. Whether you liked them or not, they have helped you become who you are today. Put both feet on the floor and get grounded in the new paradigm.

This is a good time to find and follow through on a simple action that you know will help you reduce confusion and move on.

Rheanni Lightwater

Rheanni Lightwater is a Reiki Master, Hypnotherapist and Medical Intuitive who specializes in Past Life Clearing and Soul Retrieval in Santa Fe NM. She also serves the Albuquerque, Rio Rancho and surrounding New Mexico area. Rheanni can work with you online through Zoom or FaceTime. 

Call to make your appointment today:

This Mind Exercise should not be considered as an exclusive method of treatment. The appropriate medical or psychotherapeutic authorities should be consulted for the diagnosis and treatment if there is any medical or psychological condition. The information and practices described on this website are best considered as an adjunct to orthodox medical or psychological treatments.

Find Emotional Balance

How You Can Find Emotional Balance and Move On With Your Life.

Find Emotional BalanceUnhealthy emotions are like toxic sludge and few things are more destructive to a person’s wellbeing than those that come out of unresolved pain from early childhood. Is it possible to get “unstuck” and find emotional balance as an adult?

Take a very common example in the young child of a couple going through marital problems. This could very easily happen to either a boy or a girl, but we’ll use a young boy in this case.
Let’s say that Jessie walks in on an argument that’s going on between his parents. Immediately, he knows that something’s wrong, but when he asks, he’s told not to bother them and go upstairs.

Since he doesn’t know what it’s all about, his imagination comes in to fill in the blanks. The confusion is further compounded when Jessie’s parents withhold from him by not letting him in on what’s really happening. Perhaps they think that he’s too young to understand, or that it doesn’t matter. They say to themselves, “he’ll forget all about it in a few days.”

What they’re ignoring is that children are nearly always aware that something is wrong and when it’s not explained in terms they can understand, they will find their own explanation. Unfortunately, that explanation may be much worse than what is actually happening.

This is how projections are formed out of misguided love.

Are you living under projections from your childhood? You can release them.

If left in the dark, Jessie could start internalizing the experience and decide that he’s unworthy of his parent’s love and somehow to blame. Or he may decide that something nefarious is going on. If he does that, he’s likely to act out by misbehaving or putting up false show of toughness. When Jessie’s parents see his behavior, they could get confused themselves. They might feel either guilty, angry or both – which causes him to feel more and more insecure and the “stuck” emotional pattern is firmly established.

Of course, these kinds of patterns can get imprinted or reinforced in numerous ways later on in life.

The following mind exercise is for when a stuffed or stuck emotional pattern has re-emerged and you’re ready to do something about it. It also is good to use when you:

  • Are feeling distressed or conflicted about what steps to take 
  • Ready to gently bring up emotional conflicts so they can be be resolved
  • Want to let go of emotional programming from early childhood
  • Are frustrated or angry with events that are out of your control
  • Are letting other people’s feelings or beliefs interfere with your objectives.

It helps to remember that you are not your emotions. You are bigger than they are and you don’t have to let them run you! Being afraid of emotions is a choice that you can change at any moment by making a new decision about them. For example, you could decide that the emotions you’re feeling now are just energy patterns and not solid things.

Enlist the Power of Relaxation

Did you know that it’s possible to gain some emotional balance by simply relaxing? Very often, when you can relax your energy, the “stuck” energy pattern begins to shift and let go!

You can use these affirmations and the Circle to help you:

“I decide that I am bigger than these emotions.”

“I am in charge of how I experience these emotions, not the other way around!”

“I decide that letting go and relaxing are okay – even helpful things to do.”

Of course there’s more to it than just that, and yet, every stage of our personal growth has to start with the decision that we want something better. Hopefully, going through this mind exercise will help you get started on your way…

Welcome to Finding Emotional Balance ~

Rheanni Lightwater - Retrain Your MindSimply follow the directions.  All you have to do is relax and gaze softly at the Circles while you gently contemplate the affirmations or questions that go with them.


Mind Body IntegrationFor best results, look at each Circle both crossed over the midline of the body and uncrossed so that each correction is more complete.

Feel free to move at anytime in any way to help you embody your experience!

Step One: Whenever you want to find emotional balance, breathing always helps. Start by gazing softly at the Circle and breathe in on the count of three. One…two…three.
Exhale to the count of six. One…two…three…four…five…six.
Do this as many times as you like. Breathing in and letting go.

“I relax and let the tension go.”

Notice where you feel the tension in your body. Imagine that the “stuck” tension or emotions you’re dealing with are like a huge iceberg. Visualize it melting, moving and breaking apart. Feel your energy relax! Continue until you feel a palpable release of tension.


Step Two. Keep breathing with your belly soft and relaxed.
Let your shoulders drop.
Gaze softly at the Circle and imagine you can turn down the feelings or thoughts that are turned up too high, just like the volume on a radio dial.


Step Three: Now you’re in a better position to see if you have any stuffed emotions. Visualize them breaking apart or melting again with this symbol from The Essential Human:

What is the message that I’m getting from this emotional pain?

Use the affirmation below to help you bring emotional balance to the situation: 

“I release my need to ignore or escape from emotional pain.

I now acknowledge its message and use it for my greater good.

I safely release any emotional baggage I am carrying.”

Be sure to follow the directions both crossed and uncrossed over the midline of your body.


Step Four: Repeat the same process to see if you’re holding any stuffed conflicts. You don’t have to keep carrying them around either. Use this affirmation:

Am I holding stuffed conflicts?

“I release my focus from conflict to peaceful and prosperous solutions.”

Imagine that any conflict is breaking apart. If you’re having trouble, imagine sending a beam of light directly to the image, completely dissolving any resistance you feel.



Step Five: Is there anything else that’s bothering you?

Try to put it into words if you can.


Step Six: Can you name the particular emotional pattern that’s throwing you off balance? Remember that you may be picking up emotions that other people are feeling.


Step Seven: Is there an underlying problem involved that’s affecting your chakras?

Grail Reiki Healing - Divine Mind Chakra


Step Eight: As you gaze gently at this Circle, let your unconscious mind gather up all the pertinent information, so that over time, you can get this sorted out.


Step Nine: Gaze softly at this symbol (let your eyes relax) to help you connect with Love. Get spiritual guidance and direction that will bring you into position for receiving your highest good.

Ask yourself three questions:

  1. Am I heading in the proper direction to find emotional balance?
  2. Am I positioned correctly to receive help?
  3. What spiritual guidance do I get in regards to this situation?

The Essential HumanStay with it and contemplate the symbol for a few minutes to help you make corrections and gain further insights. For example, you may need to recover aspects of yourself using The Essential Human.

Choose numbers between 1 -42 to make corrections and find emotional balance.

Be sure to dissolve any destructive blueprints that you’re ready to let go of. Imagine those old emotional patterns are like clouds disappearing into Sunlight.

“I relax and let them go.”


Once you feel clear, be sure to close the door on old emotional channels of pain.

“All holes are sealed and healed.

I follow the direction of healthy protection.”


Congratulations! You’ve successfully interrupted a pattern that has probably been interfering with your emotional balance for some time! Be sure to take a few minutes for yourself now. Stand up. Move around. Take a walk in nature if you can. Being out in nature is the best!

As time passes, you will find that opportunities for healing will begin to make their way to you.

Specialized Energy Clearing with the Author of Soul Oriented Solutions

Rheanni Lightwater - Emotional Balance
Rheanni Lightwater, Reiki Master Teacher

If you feel that Find Emotional Balance has helped, but hasn’t addressed all of your needs, Rheanni Lightwater, BFA, CHT, CKP is an expert in the art and science of mind body healing. She has 23+ years experience in dream tending, energy medicine, hypnotherapy and feng shui clearing. Contact her if you still feel exposed, lost, or overwhelmed.

Ms. Lightwater’s mission is to assist people in creating healthy balance and harmony in their lives. Sessions are available online or when you Visit Santa Fe. Contact her at 505-271-4612 MST or email:


The Intuitive Learning Circle™ method should not be considered as an exclusive method of treatment. The appropriate medical or psychotherapeutic authorities should be consulted for the diagnosis and treatment for any medical or psychological condition. The information and practices described on this website are best considered as an adjunct to orthodox medical or psychological treatments.

Untangling Family Relationship Issues

Mind Exercise: Clearing Emotional Entanglements from Family Relationship Issues

Family Relationship IssuesEmotional entanglements that come from family relationship issues can be very stubborn and you may feel powerless to free yourself from them.

Sometimes there’s so much going on the dynamics of a person’s childhood, it seems impossible to let go of all the conditioning and allow something different to happen in adult life. 

However, there is a way through to free yourself and get some relief using the Intuitive Learning Circles™ and positive affirmations with your imagination.

Untangling Family Relationship Issues

Step One: Think about the relationship issues in your life that never seem to get better.  No matter what you do, the pattern just keeps returning over and over again. How frustrating! They could be relationships in love, friendship or career. They could be about communication, equality, finances, or access to power. Just about anything!

Use this Circle to help you visualize the nature of the issues from a larger perspective. Are you willing to finally learn from this situation and let it go?

If you are, how would you describe your experience?

You might want to quickly journal your answer to help you express it later through writing, art, music, movement or sharing your story with others. Go ahead and get a feeling for it.

Is there any kind of meddling, interference or co-dependance going on?

Family Relationship Issues - Meddling

If you can get a sense of what it is, write that down too.


Step Two: When dealing with any kind of pain, breathing always helps. Gaze softly at the Circle and breathe in on the count of three. One…two…three.
Exhale to the count of six. One…two…three…four…five…six.
Do this as many times as you like. Breathing in and letting go. 

Imagine that the pain around the relationship issues you’re dealing with is like a huge iceberg. Visualize it melting, moving and breaking apart until your energy relaxes. There may be more than one iceberg. Feel free to move at any time and in any way to help you embody your experience. Continue until you feel a palpable release of tension.

Use this Circle to help you clear away any debris or garbage that’s leftover after the ice has melted. You can imagine a broom (or shovel) just sweeping it all away to the Sun!


Step Three: In Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the second level needs are safety oriented. They include protection from the elements, security, order, law, stability and freedom from fear. Family relationship issues often involve these needs. Second level needs are primarily processed through the 2nd Chakra (located approximately 2 – 3 inches down from your navel).

Gaze softly at the Second Chakra Key below for a minute or so. Then ask yourself: “Are these relationship issues having a negative affect on my safety and security needs? Are they causing a problem in any of my current relationships? Are they interfering with my relationship with myself? Is my Second Chakra holding some of that energy?” 

Am I having difficulty accessing information, connection or trust? Do I need chakra healing here? if so, what would help me to bring my 2nd Chakra in balance?


Step Four: Empower your needs and your ability to manifest your highest good. Imagine you can open your heart and get connected to your Divine Power. Take all the time that you need (and be sure you gaze at the symbol both crossed and uncrossed over the midline of your body for greater mind/body integration).

“I exist and am able to resolve these issues within myself.”


Step Five: Now we’re going to clear some emotional entanglements around this situation. Meditate on the Circle below and imagine that you’re on your path, looking to create healthy relationships, yet for some reason, you can’t see your way. Perhaps the path is blank, crowded or dark or has you feeling anxious and unsafe. Maybe it’s filled with junk, obstructions or debris. Maybe it doesn’t seem to be there at all! How frustrating it is to feel like this when you would really like to have things be different for you now!

Ask yourself, “What do I need to do to make my path clear?” Gather up unconscious information.



It may help to bring your senses into balance. 

“I reclaim and balance my five senses.”

“I focus them to be aware of my path and my current needs around relationships.”

“I use them to perceive how I sabotage myself in my relationships and what I need to let go of.”

“I open my senses to possible solutions, resources, opportunities and _________.”


The Essential HumanStep Six: Let’s suppose that by going through the following sequence of symbols from The Essential Human, you’ll be able clear up your path and see what you need to do to help yourself.


Look at this symbol for a few moments and imagine that you’re untangling a messy string of lights that could light up your path. Stay with it until the lights are all straightened out and ready to be hung.



Imagine that your path is blocked with dozens of little children fighting and bullying each other. As you look at this symbol, imagine that you’re ringing a bell or blowing a horn. As if awakened from a nightmare, the children change their demeanor. Some start to play quietly with each other. Some leave entirely and some of them come up to you and say “hi” nicely.


Now you’re walking through a garden party where lots of couples are dancing.  Suddenly, the center of the garden is filled with a pile of wriggling snakes, ruining everyone’s time! Use the symbol and ring the bell again. You can see the snakes disappearing into thin air. If there are any openings that the snakes got in through, see them close completely. Life has returned to the party!


Now imagine that you come upon a library that represents all the information your family uses to create relationships. Use this symbol to detach from the denial, the resistance, the lies and neglect around your family’s relationship issues.  Use this affirmation to clear away any falsehood:

“I remove all false information. I now perceive the truth about me.”  

“I reclaim my________, ________, ________, etc.”


Look at the Circle and ask your heart, “Am I present and in my own heart space? Or am I somewhere else?

Consciously decide to be present, in your own body, your own heart space, using your own energy.


Look at this Circle and ask yourself, “Am I accessing my own karma or someone else’s to create relationships? Has someone dumped their karma on me? Is someone accessing my karma without my permission?”


Affirm to yourself: “I decide to use only my karma to create my relationships. I naturally deflect and repel other people’s karma and return it to them.

“I reclaim my karma. I am on my own path and in charge of how my karma is used.”


“Since I don’t know how this suffering came to be, I let it go and forgive all transgressions.”


Step Seven: Now that you’ve cleared some major entanglements and karma, it’s time to address any assumptions, misunderstandings or harmful decisions that might affect you going forward. Begin by adjusting the volume to your senses. Some may be turned up too high or some too low. 

“I see things as they really are.”

“I see my path as it really is.”


Relax and let go of any harmful assumptions that come to you through your family or ancestral line.


From this new perspective, what did you misunderstand about relationships?What did you decide about yourself and others?

What would you like to change? Be sure to write your new decisions down, so that you’ll remember.


Step Eight: With this symbol, imagine the all the obstructions and misunderstandings dissolving away until your pathway for healthy relationships is completely clear. Do that both crossed and uncrossed.


Step Nine: Put it all together now. How has this exercise changed your awareness? 

What might you do differently now to create the relationships you really want?


Make an agreement with yourself to follow through on the information you’ve gained through this exercise. Then close the door on all pathways that might lead you back to suffering.

“All doors are sealed and healed.”

“I follow the direction of healthy protection.”


Finally, check in with your Second Chakra again for a minute or so. Ask yourself: “Is the original relationship issue still having a negative affect on my safety and security needs? Is my Second Chakra holding energy from that situation now?”

“Does my chakra need balancing now? Do I need Epigenetic Healing from Divine Nature Activated? What else might help me?”


Congratulations! You have made some progress with emotional healing and entanglements from your family relationships. The next time you encounter the issue, notice if the dynamics have changed for you.

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Rheanni Lightwater - Heartfelt CommunicationFind out about Rheanni’s Intuitive Readings and Clearings (Long Distance or in Person)

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This Mind Exercise should not be considered as an exclusive method of treatment. The appropriate medical or psychotherapeutic authorities should be consulted for the diagnosis and treatment if there is any medical or psychological condition. The information and practices described on this website are best considered as an adjunct to orthodox medical or psychological treatments.