How To Develop Healthy Boundaries
SOS Self-care Formula #6: Develop Healthy Boundaries
Many people, especially those who are highly sensitive or empathic, want to learn how to develop healthy boundaries because they are so open to thoughts and energies coming from other people. Sometimes those thoughts get attached in their minds and spin around, causing a great deal of discomfort.
If the pathways remain open, all kinds of trouble (karma, issues, illness or confusion) can pass back and forth between people without their awareness. If left unchecked, this type of attachment can manifest in negativity, sudden and mysterious illnesses, mental confusion, issues with prosperity or chronic states of overwhelm.
It’s a valuable skill to know how to shift your energy and Develop Healthy Boundaries.
Self-care Formula #4 from SOS – Soul Oriented Solutions uses affirmations and the Intuitive Learning Circles to help you learn to consciously close off the pathways to negative thoughts or emotions and shift into a more positive mindset. Here’s an example of how it works. Simply gaze softly at the Circle while you contemplate each of these positive affirmations:
“I reclaim and balance my five senses.”
“I focus them to be present and aware of appropriate boundaries.”
“I use them to become aware of intrusive thoughts, attachments, illness and confusion so that I can let them go.”
“I focus on a hopeful future and productive actions that will benefit my health and happiness.”
Use Develop Healthy Boundaries when you are:
- Agitated or feeling out of sync
- Distressed by recent news
- Getting negative or anticipating hardship
- Feeling claustrophobic
- Unable to meditate or sit still
- Obsessed with a particular person or situation.
Here’s how it works: Find a quiet place if possible, where you won’t be disturbed. Follow the sequence of symbols while you read their accompanying instructions. Gaze gently at each Circle for about two minutes. A longer or shorter time may be necessary.
Mind Body Integration
For best results, look at each symbol both crossed over the midline of the body and uncrossed so that the correction is more complete.
Let yourself breathe and relax as much as possible. Don’t worry if the images move around or change in any way. That just means the Circles are working and that your mind and body are relaxing.
Be sure to go through the entire formula and at the end, give yourself time to rest and integrate.
Developing a quiet mind and light heart changes your perspective and that makes it easier to follow through with your true priorities.
Gently contemplate each step for clarity and better boundaries…
Step 1. Balance
Begin by consciously breathing in on the count of three and slowly exhaling on the count of five. It’s helpful if you can breathe in through your nose. Do that three or four times while you gaze softly at the Circle.
Continue breathing and bring your awareness to your tailbone.
What do you need to get in balance about?
Step 2: Decision
In order to develop healthy boundaries, there is a decision that you need to make for yourself. Be clear about what you actually want for yourself and how you’re responding in this situation. State it directly and decisively.
Note: Negative or wishy-washy requests get negative, wishy-washy results. Overly idealistic or ambitious requests tend to create chaos and overwhelm.
Think it through and write down a positive declaration for yourself.
What results do you actually want to experience?
Step 3. Letting Go
Your decision probably brings up conflicts. Use this Circle to melt away any hard thoughts, feelings or resistance that blocks your ability to see things clearly and take action.
The key is to relax into whatever you’re feeling and breathe. You can imagine that the lines in the Circle are going limp and moving around like wet noodles.
What tension or worry do you need to let go of?
Step 4. Protection
This symbol will help you develop healthy boundaries by providing an improved interface with your environment. We all need assistance in making the transition from the old paradigm of Water (Piscean Age) to the New Paradigm of Air (Aquarian Age). Relax and close down all heavy or destructive energy channels that your mind or body may be open and vulnerable to.
Do you feel a sense of protection?
Continue to contemplate the symbol both crossed and uncrossed over the midline of your body until you feel protection all around.
Step 5. Natural Instincts
Now that you’re more relaxed, use this Circle to gather up your natural gifts, talents and instincts that will help you reclaim and strengthen your boundaries.
Make sure you’ve got your feet on the ground so that you can get back in touch with the things that really matter. Activate your gut instincts, engage your Essence and the power that comes from your Soul.
What will help you connect with your instincts?
Step 6. Intention
Give yourself permission to slow down and focus your energy on your intention. Turn your attention to what really needs to happen.
For example, you’ll want to know if you’re internalizing something or if you’re trying to take care of something that isn’t yours to be concerned with.
What is the necessary information I need to gather from my unconscious mind?
Don’t worry. You don’t need to have it all figured out. The issue may be too confusing to make sense of it yet.
Just let the Circle help you percolate what’s involved with this boundary issue.
Step 7. Soul Color
You may be taking on other peoples vibration without being aware of it.
Using your own Soul color and vibration will strengthen your autonomy, integrity and good health. To help you find it, remember a time when you successfully manifested something physical. What color comes to mind?
“I recognize my Souls unique color vibration.”
“I know who I am. I distinguish my energy from the energy of others.”
“All aspects of my Essence are willing to utilize my Soul color for success.”
Step 8. Centering
Connect your decision with the strength and integrity of your Soul. Bring in your Soul Color and conscious awareness to amplify this affirmation:
“I decide to connect with the truth of my Soul and love my Self.”
When you’re ready, notice where you are in your room or environment.
What is to the left of you and what is to the right of you?
Make sure that you’re centered in your own body.
“I am inside of me. Everything else is outside.”
Step 9. Empowerment
Empower your ability to follow through with your decision.
“I exist and am empowered through my Souls connection.”
“I nourish myself with Soul knowing and heart wisdom.”
“I am empowered to take good care of myself and develop healthy boundaries.”
Continue by making your own affirmations that apply to your decision:
“I am empowered to _____________.”
Step 10. Calm
Keep breathing with your belly soft and relaxed. Let your shoulders drop. Continue using your Soul color with this Chart to expel excess energy from your nervous system. Slow down and clear away noise, clutter and static.
Come back into the calm and rhythm of your Soul.
What thoughts help to relax you?
Step 11. Repair
If you’re having trouble, this Key can help you correct any blockages, rough static, glitches or reversals that might be causing trouble in your energy field.
Relax with it for a few minutes until things smooth out.
Be sure to do that both crossed and uncrossed over the midline of your body.
Step 12. Perception
It helps to see things the way they really are.
Gaze softly at this Circle and imagine you can turn down the feelings or thoughts that are turned up too high or too low, just like the volume on a radio.
“I decide to perceive this situation clearly and calmly.”
What are you seeing differently about this situation?
Step 13. Change
In order to follow through with manifesting healthy boundaries, some things are going to have to change. Identify what needs to happen:
“Does something need to change?”
“What do I need to do differently to develop healthy boundaries?”
“What actions would help me?”
If you’re not clear yet, keep going with the exercise.
You may need a few more easy corrections before the truth emerges.
Step 14. Resolution
You probably need to change some agreements or do some things differently. To help you find out what they are, examine what causes confusion for you when you consider these affirmations:
“I decide to stay centered and follow through on the highest good.”
“My health and happiness are important.”
“I easily deflect foreign energies and other peoples thoughts or expectations.”
There is always more than one way to approach a situation.
What new approach do you need to take? What agreements need to change?
Step 15. Detachment
There may be attachments or karmic entanglements blocking your solution.
Use this Soul Star Chakra Key to detach from them. Relax and meditate on for several minutes. Like a healing balm, imagine that a loving coat of peace and comfort is pouring down over you.
Are you willing to neutralize interfering energies and detach from them?
If not, are you willing to change the agreement that binds you to them?
Step 16. Freedom
Allow this symbol for dissolving destructive blueprints to clear out underlying patterns of confusion, abuse and harmful karmic relationships out of your mind.
Let any remaining heaviness or karmic entanglements around this situation lift up and out of you.
Dark clouds are dissolving into blue skies and sunlight
Please note: Never send destructive energies into the Earth, she already has too much to handle now. Use the Earth for planting seeds of happiness and life – not death!
Step 17. Closure
Use the Circle to help you close any harmful openings or pathways that would leave you open to the distractions and interference of the external world.
Close the doors and seal the leaks – as if they were never there.
You are calm and ready to follow through now. Your mind is able to rest.
Are you heading in the right direction?
If not, imagine that your Soul is turning you to face the right direction.
Step 18. Clean Up
A necessary part of having healthy boundaries is in making sure that we don’t get sucked back into unhealthy dynamics, otherwise, we’ll just get entangled again!
Take the time now to deconstruct any leftover habits and shut down any leaks that have been draining your energy. Fill in any voids with loving gratitude.
Are you experiencing any more drains to your energy?
Step 17. Completion
Finally, you want to make sure that you’re no longer connected through entanglements that keep you connected to old places or behaviors you don’t want to go back to anymore. Allow this Circle to make sure you’re free of harmful ties, cords or vows to continue participating in abuse:
“I let go of all harmful vows or obligations
to be connected to dangerous energies or abusive situations.”
Congratulations! Give yourself time to rest and integrate.
Take a walk or enjoy some time out in Nature.
Specialized Energy Clearing with the Author of Soul Oriented Solutions
If you feel that Develop Healthy Boundaries has helped, but hasn’t addressed all of your needs, Rheanni Lightwater, BFA, CHT, CKP has 25+ years experience in the art and science of mind body healing. Contact her for a private session if you still feel off track or overwhelmed.
Ms. Lightwater’s mission is to assist people in creating healthy balance and harmony in their lives through energy medicine, hypnotherapy and feng shui clearing. Sessions are available online or when you visit Santa Fe. Contact her at 505-271-4612 MST or email: [email protected].
Find out about Intuition Training for Personal Growth with us!
Disclaimer:
How to Develop Healthy Boundaries should not be considered as an exclusive method of handling stress. Soul Resources LLC and Rheanni Lightwater are not licensed to practice medicine. The appropriate medical or psychotherapeutic authorities should be consulted for the diagnosis and treatment for any medical or psychological condition. The information and practices described on this website are best considered educational and complementary to orthodox medical or psychological treatments.
Grounding in the Truth and Your Power
A Mind Exercise for Grounding In The Truth ~
Many people realize how important grounding in the truth is because external power struggles can so easily uproot us from the truth about what’s best for us.
Staying centered requires that you know how to use the power of your mind to control your own energy.
To find out if this Mind Exercise can help you, gaze at the symbol in this picture for a moment and ask:
- Are you having difficulty getting and staying grounded?
- Do you feel caught up in a power struggle?
- Do you need to disconnect from a meddling or intrusive person?
- Are you feeling trapped by other peoples agendas?
- Have you been wasting energy on the past?
- Are you worrying or fearful about the future?
- Is it hard to think straight or get dependable guidance?
Here’s how Grounding in the Truth works:
Put both feet flat on the floor and start with your arms and legs uncrossed. Simply gaze softly at the images while you repeat the affirmations that go with them for several minutes. Relax and breathe. Here’s an example:
“I reclaim and balance my five senses.”
“I use them to be present and aware so that I can actualize my Soul’s purpose.”
“I use them to help me protect myself and resolve my concerns appropriately.”
“I am aware of what’s most important.”
In times of difficulty CONFLICT or CONTRADICTION, your energy might feel very jagged or erratic. Take a moment to smooth things out with this Correction Key.
You will probably feel a lot of energy moving – that’s all right. It just means that the Circles are working to focus your mind and clean up your energy.
You will know you’re done when the energy calms down and you can begin to feel the energy of your Soul coming through. Then you can move on to the remaining Circles with each of their affirmations to complete the process.
Once you’re done, remember to relax and allow your energy to settle.
Mind Body Integration
For best results, look at each symbol both crossed over the midline of the body and uncrossed so that the correction is more complete.
Feel free to move at anytime in any way to help you embody your experience!
Step One: Establish a strong intention stated in the positive.
You might want to write it down. Examples:
“I maintain my integrity and am true to myself.”
“I gather my resources to be successful in my current endeavors.”
“I disengage from this power struggle.” etc.
“I ________________.”
Step Two – Integrity
Strengthen your resolve by detaching from harmful sub-conscious distractions:
“I stop wasting my energy on lies, harmful agendas, mind games and no win situations.”
“I stop feeding unproductive projects and inappropriate people.”
“I let go of subconscious agreements to tap into other people’s energy or to allow them to tap into mine.”
Step Three ~ Self-determination
Engage with your potential and bring it into positive balance. Breathe deeply with these affirmations:
“I open up to my positive potential.”
“I follow my own life path.”
“I bring ease and flow into my true life’s path.”
Step Four – Soul Guidance
Continue to relax with your breath and affirm to yourself:
“I reclaim the energy, power and gifts of my Soul.”
“I use them to be present and alert.”
“I integrate them to create my Soul’s true purpose.”
Step Five – Centering
Bring your awareness and vibe to your heart center and keep breathing:
“I am centered and my energy radiates out.”
“I open to my inner guidance and am present with it.”
“I connect my heart center to Love, joy and gratitude.”
“My core is protected and my energy is my own.”
Step Six – Balance
Take all the time you need with the Earth Chakra Key until you feel stable and balanced. See if you can still feel your Soul Vibration.
“My feet are firmly planted on the Earth.”
“I slow down and step carefully.”
“I am present and grounding in the truth.”
Step Seven: Direction
As you move forward, what is the Truth about what’s next?
Are you positioned correctly?
Is something blocking you or are you blocking yourself?
Are you in someone else’s way?
Are you using the kind of emotions or energies that will take you where you want to go?
Step Eight – Truth
Empower yourself to make the necessary changes:
”I exist. What I say and do matters.”
“I am empowered to create and maintain healthy boundaries.”
“My life is my own.”
“I am empowered to maintain my own Soul’s purpose and path.”
Step Nine: Integration
To help you integrate, gaze softly at this symbol with these affirmations:
“I close down all harmful energy channels.”
You’ll know that the harmful channels are closed when the emotional chaos and mental chatter stops. Once that happens, confirm:
“I allow myself to receive generative life force and connect with life affirming channels of communication.”
Cross and uncross your hands over the midline of your body as many times as you like until the transformation feels complete.
Step Eight: To Each Their Own
Gracefully release all issues, karma and emotional baggage that don’t belong with you:
“I surrender other people’s issues, emotions and karma so I can uncross my own path.”
Once that feels complete, call back what genuinely belongs with you:
“I set things right so that I may move forward in peace.”
Step Ten: Completion
Close off the doors and pathways that lead you away from your Soul’s intended path. While gazing at the Circle, imagine any holes or pathways that might have come open during this meditation. They are the ones that are finished and you are done with.
“All completed holes and pathways are healed and sealed.”
“I follow the direction of my Soul’s protection.”
Congratulations! Your energy is more your own and you’ll have a much easier time staying grounded now. Remember, a person whose energy is balanced and grounded benefits everyone. Be sure to take some time to relax and rest.
This Mind Exercise is Part of Animal Totem Tracks for Self-healing
Find out about Intuition Training for Personal Growth with us!
You are invited to Sign Up for the Intuitive Learning Circle Ezine
About the Author
Rheanni Lightwater CHT, CKT lives and practices in Santa Fe, New Mexico and has 25+ years experience in the art and science of mind body healing. Contact her for a private session if you still feel like you need support.
Ms. Lightwater’s mission is to assist people in creating healthy balance and harmony in their lives through Reiki, Energy Medicine, Hypnotherapy, Feng Shui and Shamanic forms of clearing. Sessions are available online or when you visit Santa Fe. Contact her at 505-271-4612 MST or email: [email protected].
Disclaimer: Grounding in Your Power is not intended take the place of appropriate medical and/or psychiatric care. Soul Resources LLC and Rheanni Lightwater are not licensed to practice medicine. If you are having prolonged or increasing bouts of anxiety, depression or suicidal thoughts, seek immediate medical help. The appropriate medical or psychotherapeutic authorities should be consulted for the diagnosis and treatment of any medical or psychological condition. The information and practices described on this website are best considered educational and complementary to orthodox medical or psychological treatments.
Protected: Dispelling Self-doubt and Projections
Simplify Your Life
Transformation Game: Simplify Your Life
The energy continues to change! As we step more fully into the New Paradigm, the ability to ADAPT and Simplify Your Life promises to be more valuable than ever.
Transformation Games are inspired by Kuan Yin, a beloved and respected healing guide among natural health and energy medicine practitioners.
*Caution! Her advice, as always, is direct and to the point! You will want to get out something to take notes with.
Welcome to the I Ching Reading and Transformation Game for:
Hexagram # 17 – ADAPTING by Simplifying Your Life
“Simplicity is the path of inner direction and self worth. Examine your goals and the standards you have set for yourself. If they are unworthy, inefficient or nonexistent, it will be difficult to make significant progress in a productive direction. ADAPTING your mindset and how you’re using your energy is the appropriate response at this time. Use your inner wisdom to adjust to the realities of your new environment. See things through the lens of common sense and inner guidance. Dispense with ungrounded over-indulgences in whatever form they take.
To clear away complications and wasted effort, it may be necessary for you to refocus and look at your situation from a more objective perspective. You may even find that you need to get out of your own way! As you re-examine your efforts, remember the strength and power that lives within you. By ADAPTING to your new awareness and simplifying your life, you will find many unexpected rewards.”
This Game is made up of Intuitive Learning Circles, pertinent questions and positive affirmations that will:
-
- give you a new perspective
- activate your heart wisdom and
- help you ADAPT to a simpler mindset by clearing up mental and emotional clutter.
Some questions to consider as you play Simplify Your Life are:
“Am I making things more complicated than they need to be?”
“Am I wasting my time and energy chasing after too many things?” or
“How can I simplify the way I’m approaching certain projects or relationships?”
If you contemplate one or more of these questions for a few minutes and then go through the game, you’ll be able to shift your attitude and refocus your mind very quickly.
Why Simplify Your Life?
“The pressures of life seem to increase everyday so we need to find guidance that comes from a reliable source. Go through the sequence anytime you feel scattered or overwhelmed. By going within and allowing your Inner Guidance to show you the way, you can simplify your life, make productive decisions and move forward with greater self confidence while you let the chaos take a back seat.”
How to Play Simplify Your Life:
Simply look at the sequence of Circles below while you ponder the questions or positive affirmations that go with them.
Mind Body Integration
For best results, look at each symbol both crossed over the midline of the body and uncrossed so that the correction is more complete.
Take a few breaths and relax. Use a soft focus to help you go within and access new energy and clarity. What you do with the information you come up with is up to you!
Simplify Your Life:
1. To begin, look at this symbol with a soft, relaxed gaze. Repeat to yourself several times:
“I am ready, willing and able to shift my perception from scattered to focused – from complexity to simplicity – from ineffective to effective priorities.”
Imagine your life is like a movie and that your camera is filming it from a certain angle. Allow your Inner Guidance to pull the camera back and move it to an entirely different angle. Focus in on this new perspective like a close up in a movie.
2. While looking at this next Circle, think about the different activities you are engaged in. Ask yourself:
“Am I putting too much pressure on myself?”
“Am I spreading myself too thin?”
“Am I going after too many things?”
“Have I been seeing this situation honestly?”
3. Notice if the whole situation makes you feel anxious or uneasy. Breathe a few times and allow this Circle to help you to calm down and see more clearly.
Imagine you can adjust the settings on your senses – like brightness and color on a camera.
“I see things calmly and with clear perception, through the lens of my Soul.”
4. Use this symbol from Reiki Chakra Keys to open and balance your Third Eye Chakra. You can do this by gently gazing into the Key while you relax and breathe for a minute or two. Use this positive affirmation to help:
“I open up to my intuition and common sense so that I can become aware of what I truly need.”
5. Use this Reiki Chakra Key to open and balance your Fourth Chakra located at the center of your chest. You can do this by focusing your attention on the Circle while you relax and breathe for a few moments.
Once you feel more open and at peace, ask for help from your Soul resources.
6. Now that you’ve cleared up some of your misperceptions, you can use these next few Circles to help you separate fact from fiction. Start by asking yourself:
“What percentage of the work that I’m doing is actually benefitting me?”
“Are there any dangerous assumptions I’m making that are actually a waste of my time and pulling me off track?”
If so, can you name what they are?
Does it seem as though you’re just circling around and around without getting what’s really important done? Are you being as direct and efficient as you could be? Are you exhausted and pushing too hard?
Describe what your experience has been like.
7. Visualize what you’re trying to accomplish:
“Is there clutter I could clear up that would help me get back on track?”
If so, is it your clutter or someone else’s? If it belongs to someone else, use the Circle to visualize sweeping it all up and sending it to the Light so that it can go to wherever it belongs.
8. Slow down and ask yourself for more clarity:
“What affect am I having on those around me?”
“Are there any activities I’m involved in that are counter productive or even obsolete?”
If so, can you name what they are?
Am I wasting energy and time due to lack of focus?”
“Is there some confusion that needs to be cleared up?
Are there other issues that I need to be aware of?”
Continue your inquiry until you’re pretty sure you know what’s happening.
9. Now it’s time to clear some epigenetic patterns. Relax for a minute and tune into your solar plexus area.
Is there something about the situation that reminds you of the way your family sometimes behaves?
How about someone else that you know? If so, are you willing to let it go?
Gently visualize letting that energy go to the Light and disappearing.
10. Take your time and use this Circle to clear confusion or complexities out of your mind. You may see them as a million details, numbers, calculations or just a bunch of heavy smoke.
“I clear away the smoke screen so I can see what would actually help me.”
11. Relax with this image and affirmation for a minute or two.
“I am willing and able to let go of complications and simplify my life.”
12. As you gaze softly at this symbol from Divine Nature Activated, imagine that you can clear up the communication lines between your mind and your body.
-
- If communication lines seem tangled up, see them going to the Sun and disappearing.
- If communication seems outdated, see your internal system upgrading.
- If you seem disconnected, imagine your communication lines straightening out and connecting properly within yourself and the outside world.
(You’ll want to do this while you’re both crossed and uncrossed over the mid-line of your body).
13. Once you’re perceiving things more clearly, ask another question:
“What am I struggling with and am I willing to let it go?”
If you are willing, go ahead and send it to the Light as you did with the others.
If you’re not willing to let it go, at least you now know what’s really going on.
14. Once you’ve gone through the DNA clearing section of the game, see if you can use this Circle to focus on what’s really important.
Take your time and let everything come together in the center, blank space of the Circle.
“I focus on what’s really important.”
You may want to write down what comes to you.
15. Now that you’ve gone through the Simplify Your Life Game, see if you can use the Throat Chakra Key to give voice to what’s really important.
“I access my true voice and can express what I truly need.
I need to _______________.”
16. Place your intention in the middle of this Circle and consciously send your energy towards it for improved manifesting. Just like aiming at a bull’s eye!
17. Help yourself to move forward in the right direction by using this Circle to seal and heal all the holes that may drain your energy or lead you back into distractions and complications.
“All holes are sealed and healed.”
“I follow the direction of my Soul’s protection.”
18. Finish the game by making sure that your aura is repaired and strong – a finishing step that will improve your health and focus even more!
Congratulations!
Thank yourself for taking the time today to clarify between things that are helpful and those that aren’t. You’ve given voice to what’s important right now and as a result, saved yourself a lot of time and trouble. Not only that, you’ve let go of some epigenetic patterning that’s been cluttering up the situation. This is a positive step in the right direction!
Bring the energy of gratitude in and let it connect with an inner fountain of gratitude that lives in your heart.
“I am empowered to simplify my life. I am ready, willing and able to follow through on my true priorities.”
Now is a good time to take a walk or go out into Nature to help this all integrate. Be prepared for new ideas and solutions to make their way towards you.
This Mind Exercise is Part of Animal Totem Tracks for Self-healing
Find out about Intuition Training for Personal Growth with us!
You are invited to Sign Up for the Intuitive Learning Circle Ezine
About the Author
Rheanni Lightwater CHT, CKT lives and practices in Santa Fe, NM and has 25+ years experience in the art and science of mind body healing. Contact her for a private session if you want more help simplifying your life.
Ms. Lightwater’s mission is to assist people in creating healthy balance and harmony in their lives through energy medicine, hypnotherapy and feng shui clearing. Sessions are available online or when you visit Santa Fe. Contact her at 505-271-4612 MST or email: [email protected].
Disclaimer:
This Transformation Game should not be considered as an exclusive method of treatment. The appropriate medical or psychotherapeutic authorities should be consulted for the diagnosis and treatment if there is any medical or psychological condition. The information and practices described on this website are best considered as an adjunct to orthodox medical or psychological treatments.
