Nourish Healthy Relationships

Did you know that you instinctively know the difference between toxic and healthy relationships?

Kuan Yin's Transformation GamesThe intent of this Transformation Game is to help you identify healthy relationships that are actually nourishing to you in your current situation. A relationship may have been healthy at one time and is now going through a change. Or, you may be starting a whole new journey in a whole new place!

Start by choosing a relationship that is integral to your well-being, one that you know you need help with and are willing to look at honestly. Examples might be: a romantic partner, a business partnership, a family member or a previous relationship. This exercise can also help you identify helpful team members, such as a health practitioner you’re working with or another professional you’re thinking of hiring.

Mind Body IntegrationMind Body Integration

For best results playing a Transformation Game, look at each Circle both crossed over the midline of the body and uncrossed so that the correction is more complete.

Transformation Games can help you to identify problems, change your focus to positive solutions, ground yourself and get in the present. Simply relax and gaze at the Circles while contemplating the positive affirmations or questions. Your intuition will come forward and give you the help that you seek.

Recognizing Healthy Relationships

The Solar Plexus Chakra is key to knowing whether or not a relationship is nourishing or toxic to you. Nourish Healthy RelationshipsYour gut feeling is the best lie detector and has all the information it needs about healthy relationships – as long as you’re present and paying attention! It’s just that for some reason, the information is being blocked from your conscious awareness and you can’t see the signs.

Take a moment and relax with this Reiki Chakra Key for your solar plexus to help you get present. Use the positive affirmations if they help or come up with one of your own.

“I am present and open to my gut instincts. I trust myself.”

“I am _____________________.”

Your Essential Self is most efficiently positioned and grounded there to help you manifest, create happiness and maintain your health.

In stressful times, it’s pretty common for the Essential Self to get closed off, misplaced or dissociated. You can correct that now with this Soul Prayer Chart.

Make sure that you have a sense that your Essence is facing forward and up right.

 

There are several ways that gut instinct gets blocked. Two that are particularly relevant in times like these are being in too much of a hurry and getting distracted. 

Distractions keep us from taking good care of ourselves. If we’re always busy, busy, busy and not paying attention to our basic needs, we’re asking for trouble.

Of course we have all kinds of excuses that make it seem all right.  “I ran out of time… I have to get this done… there’s too much going on…” etc.

Check your response to these statements and notice if you get stuck on either of them: 

“I get distracted. I get in too much of a hurry. I overlook my gut feeling.”

 

So, let’s slow down and think about the source of your relationship trouble. Relax into it. Is there a particular person, group or relationship system that seems to be at the core of the problem?

Healthy Relationships

Sadly, many of us we spend too much time or energy on toxic relationships that aren’t particularly good for us. You know the kind I’m talking about:

  • the wolf in sheep’s clothing that uses flattery to charm and disarm you.
  • the whiners that are oh, so good at making you feel sorry for them.
  • the wunderkinds who go out of their way to impress you.
  • the meddlers who insert themselves into things that are none of their business
  • or bullies that just want to intimidate and make you miserable.

Are you attracting a lot of that? 

If your answer is “no” count yourself lucky. You must have very good relationship karma!

If your answer is “yes,” go ahead and continue this mind exercise to see what might be going on…

Slow Down and Focus

Let’s see what’s going on for you by experimenting with one of our Intuitive Learning Circles for slowing down and focusing on what’s really important.

“I slow down and focus on what I need when it comes to my  _______ relationships.”

If you’re thinking about a particular relationship, it’s worth your time to really slow down and ask yourself a couple of honest questions:

“What is my concern about this particular relationship?”

Clarify the nature of the relationship. Is this person a friend, business associate, boss, family, lover, etc.?

“What is the confusion about?”

 

 

Check for Good Boundaries

Most relationships have their own irritations, resistances and rough patches. Where is the irritation in this relationship? What is it about?

Are you taking something personally or internalizing something that isn’t yours? Are you being codependent in some way?

If so, use this Circle to help you open your energy up wide and let those irritations go. Send it all to the Light!
Once you’re done, close your energy back up.
What else what might you do to soothe the situation?

 

Examine Emotional Reactions

Sometimes people trigger emotional responses in us that come out of our childhood conditioning or earlier relationships. A certain familiar tip of the head or tone of voice can be very potent.

Most of the time, the people in our relationships have no idea about what’s happening. You have very little power over them. However, you can be responsible for your own reactions. Ask yourself:

“What is the main emotion or emotions I’m feeling when around this person?” 

“Does it happen only in certain situations?”

“Does this relationship remind me of another person? A painful experience?”

Could you be experiencing a projection – a  harmful attitude, a phobia or an obsession?

If so, imagine you can pop that projection, just like a bubble! There could be more than one, so imagine popping them all away!

 

Clear the Remaining Clutter

Sometimes we attract disturbing or stressful relationship issues because our minds are cluttered up with disturbing, stressful thoughts.

Imagine that you can use this Circle to clear the clutter out of the landscape of your mind. Sweep all that junk and chaos out of your head and send it to the Light! You might be surprised at how much clutter there is!

That’s one of the reasons why people like to meditate. It’s a great way to develop a regular habit of clearing debris out of the mind!

 

Evaluate How You’re Using Your Energy to Nourish Healthy Relationships.

Now that you’re present, focused and clear, you can get some accurate information about how you’re nourishing yourself. This section can give you all kinds of answers that could really help you make a big improvement in your happiness. All you have to do is relax and gaze softly at the center open space of this Circle while you ask yourself a few questions. Use a scale of one to ten to evaluate what’s going on (one being lousy and ten being great!). Be sure to listen to your gut and be receptive to the answers that come.

Ask yourself when it comes to this person:

On a scale of one to ten:

“How is this person nourishing me- Emotionally?
Professionally?
Intellectually?
Spiritually?

What, if anything, is missing?

Is there a beneficial exchange of energy?

Have I closed myself off in some way?

What, if anything, could be done to cultivate a more healthy relationship?

 

Release or Renegotiate Agreements

Most rules about relationships are rooted in old ideas and systems that we grew up with as children.

In the New Paradigm, a lot of those old agreements and assumptions cause problems and keep us from having truly healthy relationships.

In this particular relationship, what agreements need to be amended, reformed or let go of entirely?

“I let go of ___________.”
“I reform ________.”
“I amend my agreement to ______.”
“I stop participating in ________.”
“I uproot ______,  _______, &_________.”

 

Connect with the New, Life Affirming Channels of Communication.

Install this symbol like a sort of filter for the Solar Plexus Chakra.

“I adapt to the generative flow of chi’ to the best of my ability.”

“I close down harmful energy channels from the past.”

“I connect to new, life affirming channels of communication.”

 
 

“I’m open to receiving the most nourishing and life affirming energy available in my environment.”


 

Release the Mental/ Emotional Patterns

Imagine that this symbol for Dissolving Destructive Blueprints can help you identify and dissolve any toxic imprints or patterns that may be preventing healthy relationships. You might see them as a dark cloud dissolving into the pure light of the Sun.

“I release the blockages and entanglements that keep me from  experiencing healthy relationships.”

“I release patterns that keep me from experiencing joy.”

I dissolve any old ideas, plans or relationship systems at would contradict my highest good or cause me harm.”

Please note: We also need to cultivate a healthy relationship with our planet! Never send destructive energies into the Earth, she already has too much to handle now. Use the Earth for planting seeds of happiness and life – not death!

 

Let Go of Old, Outdated Intentions

Gaze softly into the center of this Circle and see ancient intentions like eggs or seeds waiting to be activated. Not only do you see your own intentions and prayers, but also cultural, ancestral goals that no longer have life affirming motivations behind them.

Visualize them like ingredients in a soup that is spoiling your genuinely desired outcome. Imagine you can scoop out any unpreferred intentions and send them to the Light:

“I let go of all intentions that would contradict my highest good, cause confusion or conflict in how we all create healthy relationships.”

 

Release the Karma 

Release any seeds of karma that perpetuate habits and beliefs that keep you from nourishing healthy relationships properly. Send them to the Light for purification.

“I plant new karmic seeds for good things that will support my new choices. I nourish those seeds with love, Light, fresh water and healthy intentions.”

 

Close the Door on Suffering and Unhealthy Pathways

Now it’s time to close the door on all that confusion and move in the direction of nourishing yourself appropriately. 

Closure for Mind Body Healing

“I close the door on any drain or strain on my time, space, attention or energy.”

“I follow the direction of my Soul’s protection.”

Congratulations! You’ve just let go of harmful energies, emotions and misunderstandings. Now you can begin to set the stage for NOURISHING healthy relationships appropriately.

Be sure to take time to rest and relax. Take a walk or get out into nature if you can!


This Mind Exercise is Part of Spirit Animal Tracks for Self-healing

Spirit Animal

 

Find out about Intuition Training for Personal Growth with us!


Specialized Energy Clearing with the Author of Soul Oriented Solutions

Rheanni Lightwater - Emotional Stress
Rheanni Lightwater, Reiki Master Teacher

If you feel that Nourishing Healthy Relationship has helped, but hasn’t addressed all of your needs, Rheanni Lightwater, BFA, CHT, CKP has 25+ years experience in the art and science of mind body healing. Contact her for a private session if you still feel confused or overwhelmed.

Ms. Lightwater’s mission is to assist people in creating healthy balance and harmony in their lives through energy medicine, hypnotherapy and feng shui clearing. Sessions are available online or when you visit Santa Fe. Contact her at 505-271-4612 MST or email: [email protected].


Disclaimer:
This game should not be considered as an exclusive method of treatment. The appropriate medical or psychotherapeutic authorities should be consulted for the diagnosis and treatment of any medical or psychological condition. The information and practices described on this website are best considered as an adjunct to orthodox medical or psychological treatments.

Learning How to Change

Are You Changing with the Changes?

If you’re like many, you’re overwhelmed by the speed and amount of alarming changes that are taking place. So much of what used to provide stability has been threatened by dissolution without any sensible notice or plan for the future. Each day, life seems to be moving in several directions and then, in a flash, something new has been added to the mix! What is the best way to handle all this chaos? How can we keep our own balance when everything is happening so fast? What do we need to learn to know how to change with all these changes?

Change

If you’re feeling emotionally drained and anxious, it’s understandable. Under these conditions, it’s easy to bounce between outrage, fear and deep sadness about what’s actually happening around us.

Our attention is getting pulled this way and that. Our bodies are worn out and our hearts and minds are split in far too many directions!   

The 64 Hexagrams in the I Ching or Book of Change have much to teach us about the importance of being flexible and knowing how to change. 

For example, we get a poignant warning from the Third Line in Hexagram #49 CHANGING:
Do not step into change hastily, for this will bring misfortune. Yet if you hesitate or deny the possibility of change you will put yourself in danger. Rely upon openness and self-control to guide you. When the necessity of CHANGING has made itself perfectly clear, and when you have thoroughly contemplated its effect, you may then proceed.”

Hexagram #29 DANGER, offers more information: “In social interactions, remain true to your nature. If possible, convince others of the soundness of your ideas by demonstrating the good effects of your actions. If they will not support you, you do not need them. Keep moving. Do not dally in the DANGER. In personal relationships, do not allow passions to lead you into peril. If the difficulties cannot be resolved without sacrificing your principles, the relationship may be irresolute.”

Hexagram #23 DETERIORATION says:
There exists now an abundance of incompetent persons in positions of authority to help bring this about… 

The time should be contemplated with great care in all financial and business matters… The situation is in the hands of persons lacking in vision. Wait until things change and concern yourself, meanwhile, with insuring your own position. Reach out benevolently and consolidate your relationships with those below you. This will provide for you a secure foundation while you wait.  ~ The I Ching Workbook, R.L. Wing, Doubleday, New York City, NY, 1979.

Transformation Game: Learning How To Change in a Changing World.

You can discover how to change more gracefully while keeping your integrity by going through this Transformation Game. When you slow down and take the time to go within, you gain a deeper understanding of what you’re really struggling with. Not only that, you can find the motivation from within to change how you’re responding in a more effective way!

Part One: Getting Out of Fight or Flight ~

Directions: Start by gazing softly at the Circle for River Medicine while contemplating the positive affirmations that accompany it. As you breathe deeply, let the Circle help you adjust the volume and pitch to just the right level of calm.

“I turn down the volume on all the noise from outside.”

“Not too high and not too low.”


An important note about Mind Body Integration ~ 

Retrain Your Mind for Mind Body IntegrationThe brain and body communicate through different channels when a part of you is crossed over the center of your body. As you work with the Circles, cross and uncross a hand or foot over the midline of your body. Use a soft focus and breathe patiently. This will help you access more information from your unconscious mind. Let any negative self-talk go by breathing through it.

Feel free to move at anytime in any way to help you let go!


 

Next, allow this Mandala for Prosperity to help your mind get into a more balanced flow of how to change in a beneficial way.

Balanced Prosperity

 

You might also be experiencing a tremendous shock to the system. Take several breaths and imagine you can use the Circle to help you find that difficult or painful experience.

Relax and imagine that whatever’s happening – the darkness, the chaos, the fight or flight is also relaxing. Let it soften and melt away, like ice under a beautiful beam of sunlight.

Stay with it until it’s completely gone.

Once you feel ready, see if you can slow down and let yourself focus on your true priorities. Ask for spiritual guidance that comes from within.

“I slow down and breathe while I turn my attention to what matters most.”

Gently notice the important aspects of your life that need your attention and some extra help.
It might help to pull focus into the center open space of the Circle.
Take all the time that you need until tangible actions begin to take form. Do you need to make a list?
Get out a pen and paper to make note of what’s coming to you.

Part Two: Reclaim Your Power and Soul Resources

Contemplate the medicine from Butterfly for a moment or two:

“I ask my Inner Wisdom for details about what needs to change and how to do it in the most beneficial way.”

What needs to happen? Are you tapping into the most beneficial energies available to you?

 

There may be toxins or destructive energies sticking to you. Let this Detachment Key help you neutralize interfering energies and detach from them.

Like a healing balm, imagine that a loving coat of peace and comfort is pouring down over you.

 

Hopefully, you’re freed up enough to bring your attention to the center of your chest. Let your heart be involved in this conversation. Are you willing to listen to what your heart is telling you?

 

Release any old agreements, assumptions or obligations that are keeping you stuck or pulling you into danger. Visualize them like contracts, burning up into nothingness with a violet flame. Here are some suggestions:

“I let go of ________________.”

“I reclaim _________________.”

What new agreements would you like to make? For example:

“I maintain my center, my inner balance and stability.”

“I am willing to change when needed and am determined to find what works.”

 

Empower your ability to choose in this situation.

“I exist. What I say and do matters.”
“I connect with the Gratitude and Joy that lives in my heart.” 

“I am empowered center myself and bring my intentions into alignment with my highest good.”

“I reclaim my power and ability to protect my Self and my ____________.”

 

This is a good time to let your energy and mindset utilize the generative flow of the New Paradigm. Use this symbol to help you access it:

“I am willing and able to change with the new flow of the Cosmos.” 
“I appreciate that I’m doing the best I can.” 
“I close down all harmful energy channels.”
“I am open and clear to receive generative life force.” 

“I use new cooperative channels of communication that connect me to my center and the Common Good.”

 

To help you pull yourself out of chaos, your mind needs to have a safe idea of where to go and how to organize your energy. This template for Common Ground will help you re-organize around a place that’s aligned with your Soul, Mother Nature and the Common Good.

If you gently meditate on this image, you can connect with an environment aligned with Nature that includes room for equality, peaceful co-operation and balanced equality.

 

Part Three: Working Through the Details

Now you’re ready to go through the rest of the game in the same way by asking yourself questions while you gaze softly at each accompanying Circle. Doing so will help you assess where you’re at and improve your connection with the Common Good.

Take your time, the answers might not come right away. The Circles are helping your mind to clear away mental and emotional resistance to change.

“In this particular situation, how am I dealing with change?

Is that working for me? Is there something I need to change about how I’m dealing with the situation? Am I doing the best I can?” 

Animal Totems for Inner Guidance - Raven

Am I stuck on something? Shut down? Unwilling? Is it possible that I’m being too hard on myself? What is the concern? What don’t I understand?”

 

If you’re stuck around a particular detail, you might be able to release it fairly easily by using Condor Medicine to clear conflict, resistance and fixated thinking.  

Imagine that you can use the Circle like a bull’s eye to send healing energy to any conflicts or fixations you may be experiencing. Let go by imagining that the lines are going all limp and loose like spaghetti noodles. Or, you can imagine an iceberg melting away under the Sun.

Either way, be gentle with yourself. If you’re judging yourself too harshly, use the Circle to help you loosen up those rigid thoughts. If you’re shut down, use the Circle to bring your energy back to life! If you need to open up to creativity or dissolve toxic emotions, see yourself doing that.
Move around and stretch in any way that you like.

 

Continue with your investigation about how to change…

“Am I holding onto past experiences that are no longer relevant?”

You can usually tell if you’re internalizing something because you’ll start to feel physical, mental, emotional or even spiritual irritation. If that’s happening, see if you can stop taking it personally and let it go.
“I surrender these old experiences to the Light and turn to more proactive ways of dealing with change.”

 

There is no doubt that what we’re going through is challenging. The best thing we can do in difficult situations is to think about what we can learn from them.
“The most important take away for me in this situation is ________.”
“I am learning ____________.”
Be sure to write this down.

For a much deeper integration, trace around the Circle clockwise with your eyes, while you consider your take away thought.

Then, do the same as you trace your eyes around the square in the same direction, both crossed and uncrossed.

How To Change our Experiences – Choose New Ingredients

If we keep choosing ingredients from the past, the soup we call our lives will keep repeating itself over and over.  For example, if we were born into a family that keeps choosing shame or blame, we will be liable to keep choosing those ingredients ourselves until we can become conscious of what we’re doing. If we want to change the flavor of our soup, it will help to change the ingredients we’re using!

By choosing ingredients such as self-worth, self-love or self-confidence, we can learn how to change and create a better future.

The Essential Human*Note: if you have an updated copy of The Essential Human, you might want to go through Future Pacing (on page 140). Choose from the archetypes #1 – 42 to help you choose beneficial “ingredients” for creating your life. Ask yourself:
“What ingredients am I choosing? Are there some ingredients that I would like to change?”

“I release harmful ingredients and access beneficial ingredients instead.”

 

Release any old agreements, assumptions or obligations that are keeping you stuck or pulling you into danger. Visualize them like contracts, burning up into nothingness with a violet flame. Here are some suggestions:

“I let go of outdated agreements that keep me stuck in old patterns or to take on someone else’s conflicts, issues, principles or karma as my own.”

“I let go of being controlled by emotions or external manipulations.”

“I am willing to change when needed and let go of anyone or anything that is causing me harm.”

“I let go of my resistance to ________. I detach from ________. I remove myself from ________.” Etc.

What new agreements would you like to make? For example:
“I maintain my center, my inner balance and stability.”

 

New Decisions

Make some new decisions that support how to change more appropriately. Here are some suggestions:

“I decide to stay positive in this situation to the best of my ability.” or…
I am capable and my Spirit helps me to handle change…
I am free to change in accordance with my highest good…
I allow other people the space to handle their own issues…”, etc.

“I decide to __________ and _______________,”

See if you can get all the wheels in your mind turning in a clockwise direction.

 

Renewed Presence

Connect with the Third Chakra at your Solar Plexus and let it open up. Relax and let the tightness go. Deep breathing and presence are your best friends in times of accelerated change! Move around or stretch again if you like.

 

Courage and Confidence

Keep breathing and give yourself a good dose of courage with the help of Jaguar Medicine:

“I surround myself with courage, confidence and strength.”

 

Seed Medicine can help you find any karmic seeds you may be holding that are causing you harm. They might not even be yours! It’s time to set things right. Send them to the Light so they can return to wherever they belong.

Reclaim whatever is yours – your ideas, your power, your own beneficial seeds of karma. Bring them home and nurture them gently.

When you’re ready, apply your karma to your own safety and well-being. Nurture those experiences that bring you genuine joy.

 

Now it’s time to dissolve your connection to any underlying abuse, confusion or conflict. Use this symbol for Dissolving Destructive Blueprints and allow the Light to dissolve and lift them off of you.

“I let go of the mental, emotional and spiritual connections I still have to harmful patterns.”

Take your time and visualize them disappearing like dark clouds into the Light!

Please note: It’s time to stop sending destructive energies and emotions into the Earth, she already has too much to handle now. Use the Earth for planting seeds of happiness and life – not unhappiness and death!

 

Considering what you’ve learned from this situation, you may have made some decisions about certain situations that you want to close the door on. Use this Circle to seal and heal all leaks, holes or pathways that lead to back to any resistance or unnecessary suffering:

“All holes are sealed and healed.” 
“I follow the direction of my Soul’s protection.”

Imagine that your mind is like a computer where you can close all the tabs and windows that have been open for far too long!

 

Before you finish this process, are you grounded in the New Paradigm of cooperation and balanced prosperity? If not, put your feet flat on the ground and let your energy organize around it now.

Congratulations!

It’s rarely easy to make changes of this magnitude, but once you know how to change with the changes, your situation is bound to improve! The I Ching leaves you with this thought:

“Remove discordant elements as they appear, throw out outmoded or stifling policies when they once again create problems, and establish far-reaching clarity about the future whenever the opportunity presents itself.” ~ The I Ching Workbook, R.L. Wing



Specialized Energy Clearing with the Author of Soul Oriented Solutions

If you feel that How to Change has helped, but hasn’t addressed all of your needs, Rheanni Lightwater, BFA, CHT, CKP has 25+ years experience in the art and science of mind body healing. Contact her for a private session if you still feel off track or overwhelmed.

Rheanni Lightwater - Hypnotherapist, Reiki Teacher

Ms. Lightwater’s mission is to assist people in creating healthy balance and harmony in their lives through Reiki, Energy Medicine, Hypnotherapy, Feng Shui and Shamanic forms of space clearing. Sessions are available online or when you visit Santa Fe. Contact her at 505-271-4612 MST or email: [email protected].


Disclaimer:
This Transformation Game 
should not be considered as an exclusive method of handling stress. Soul Resources LLC and Rheanni Lightwater are not licensed to practice medicine. The appropriate medical or psychotherapeutic authorities should be consulted for the diagnosis and treatment for any medical or psychological condition. The information and practices described on this website are best considered educational and complementary to orthodox medical or psychological treatments.

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