Sort Out Blame and Responsibility
Whose Problem Is It? Sorting out Blame and Responsibility in Relationships
In today’s society, it’s common to pass the buck by putting the blame and responsibility on others or deny that a problem even exists, especially in dysfunctional or co-dependent relationships.
When that happens, responsible people tend to get thrown off balance. If you’re one of those people, you believe in dealing with problems, rather than ignoring them or unloading them onto someone else. After all, if you own it, you can solve it, right? Under normal circumstances that would be true. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way if the problem you’re worrying about isn’t really yours to solve.
This simple game is for you if you tend to take on blame and responsibility for others to your own detriment. Especially during these times of upheaval and DETERIORATION, it’s essential to clear out all the confusion without making it only your problem. We can find more balanced ways to come up with solutions together.
Use this mind exercise when you are:
-
SOS Symbol Not clear where your responsibility lies in a given situation
- Pressuring yourself to solve someone else’s problem
- Lacking energy for your own projects
- Aware that someone is overly dependent on you
- Wanting to change the dynamics of blame and responsibility in a relationship
- Being used as a scapegoat or dumping ground for negative energy.
Directions: Confirm this is the best exercise for you with the SOS symbol.
If your efforts to solve a problem are causing you to become overwhelmed and frustrated, follow the directions for each step of this game and watch how your perspective changes! By playing, you’ll get to the bottom of what’s going on and receive constructive guidance on how to effectively come to a solution, at least for yourself.
You’ll probably feel some energy moving while you go through the exercise. That’s all right, because it means the Circles are working with your mind to unlock a fixated pattern and help you get some positive answers to your dilemma.
Once you’ve completed the game, your energy will be more your own and you’ll have a much clearer idea of what’s actually going on, including what to do about it.
Whose Problem Is It?
1. While looking at this Circle, think of a person, a problem or a plan that‘s bothering you.
What is it specifically that bothers you about this situation?
Have you experienced this problem before?
Mind Body Integration
For best results, look at each symbol both crossed over the midline of the body and uncrossed so that the correction is more complete.
Feel free to move at anytime in any way to help you embody your experience!
2. Answer “yes” or “no” to these questions about what’s happening:
“Is this my problem?”
“Is it a projection that’s coming from elsewhere?”
“Is it something I’m projecting on myself?”
“Am I projecting this problem onto someone or something else?”
If you are dealing with any projections, you can use this Circle to help you burst them, just like a bubble or lots of little bubbles.
After all, projections are just illusions and don’t really exist, so why waste your precious time and energy on them?
3. Continue answering “yes” or “no” to these questions about your true relationship to this problem:
“What is my relationship to this problem?”
“Is it a problem I’m taking on for someone else?”
“Am I obsessing or worrying over something that I have no control over?”
“Is this just a troublesome habit that I keep rerunning in my head?”
Additional questions you can ask yourself:
“Am I taking what others say and do (or don’t say and do) personally?”
“Am I being respectful to myself in this situation?
How about being respectful and understanding of others?”
“What is my part in this situation and how can I handle it?”
“Am I in the best position to make a positive change?”
4. How is this problem affecting you?
If it’s having a negative affect, release any unconscious agreements you may be holding. You can change them by imagining you can tear up old contracts or burn them up in a violet flame like these:
“I release the agreement that I don’t matter or that I have no choice in this situation.”
“I release any unconscious agreements to be rigid or keep repeating harmful habits.”
Replace those agreements with some new agreements:
“I respect and take good care of myself.”
“I exist. I get present. What I say and do matters.”
“I choose to express my needs and cooperate with others in finding genuine solutions.”
Are there any other agreements you would like to change or update?
5. It could be that you’re tapping into a recurring pattern of control or traumatic stress that’s blocking positive energy.
Relax into this symbol and imagine you can close up destructive energy channels between you and all that negative energy.
“I close down all harmful energy channels from the past.”
“I close them down because they aren’t helping anything.”
Next, open up to more hopeful and beneficial energy.
Gather up your newfound awareness and imagine you can plug it into the center of this symbol for improved communication.
“I am open to receiving generative life force available to me in the present.”
Take a few minutes to feel more centered with more positive energy flowing through you, both crossed and uncrossed over the midline of your body.
6. Now it’s time to turn your attention towards possible solutions to the problem.
Make a choice to be in charge of your decisions and how you respond to this problem:
“I am in charge of what I do in this situation.”
“What new decisions do I need to make about myself?”
“What decisions do I need to make about others?”
“What decisions do I need to make about this situation?”
If you feel stuck, use the Circle to unstick and remove mental obstacles from your thinking process so you can do your best in this situation.
See if you can get all the gears in your mind moving together.
7. In order for you to be more objective, dissolve any mental or emotional blueprints that may be contributing to the problem.
Gaze softly at this symbol and allow the patterns to dissolve like dark clouds hanging overhead or off in the distance. These positive affirmations will help:
“I dissolve the blueprints for internalizing and taking on other people’s problems.”
“I release the patterns of confusion or putting too much pressure on myself.”
“I dissolve my tendencies to project problems onto myself or others.”
Take all the time you feel you need for the patterns to dissolve into pure sunlight and clear, blue skies. Feel free to move around until the heaviness is completely gone.
“I release the fear of failure and being too hard on myself.”
Please note: Make sure you don’t send destructive energies down into the Earth, she already has too much to handle now. Use the Earth for planting seeds of health, happiness and life – not illness, unhappiness and death!
8. Take a few minutes with this Circle to infuse your body with courage and determination. Imagine that you can surround yourself with a sphere of protection with affirmations like these:
“I am protected and in charge of my own space.”
“I allow others to be in charge of their own space and handle their own problems.”
“I can easily deal with my problems with courage and determination.”
Are there any aspects of your Essential Self that need to be encouraged to take care of this problem with respect – both for yourself and for others?
Redirecting how you’re using your own energy is one of the most powerful ways to solve your part of the problem.
If you have a copy, use The Essential Human manual to help you make simple corrections. Ask for numbers between 1 – 42 and make corrections to each number chart in the order they come to you.
9. What does your heart want to tell you about this situation?
Keep looking at the Circle and ask yourself this question until you hear a clear answer.
“My heart is telling me to ________________________.”
Let that quiet voice of your intuition give you answers to simple questions.
Include the basics like, who is involved? What is going on? Where is it happening? When is it happening? Why is it happening and what is its purpose?
What and how would I best respond to this situation?
10. Take a few moments and see yourself letting go of other people and their problems.
“I surrender other people’s issues, karma and emotions.”
“I send them to wherever they need to go to heal.”
Once that feels complete, call back what ever belongs to you.
“If it’s truly mine and I own it, I can resolve it.“
“I call back what belongs to me so that I can set things right.”
11. Now it’s time to get centered and ask yourself this question:
“What is the most important thing I can do to take care of myself?”
Take the very first answer that comes to you, then place your answer in the center of the Circle like a bull’s eye.
Imagine you can send your attention and energy directly to your answer and then allow the energy to return to you.
Do that for several rounds to start a new pattern.
12. Finish the exercise by asking your Inner Wisdom for some good advice:
“What will help me to follow through on making
a positive difference in this situation?”
Congratulations! Being realistic about whose problem it is and what you can actually do about it is often the missing piece to coming to a resolution.
Now would be a great time to relax and contemplate the advice you have given yourself. Take a walk if you can to help you integrate your thoughts.
Please note: Self-care Formula #4 Grounding in Your Power and Truth will often deepen your conviction and ability to follow through.
Blame and Responsibility is a Mind Exercise in Our PTSD Workbook
You are invited to Sign Up for the Intuitive Learning Circle Ezine
About the Author
Rheanni Lightwater CHT, CKT lives and practices in Santa Fe, NM and has 25+ years experience in the art and science of mind body healing. Contact her for a private session if you want more help sorting out your relationships.
Ms. Lightwater’s mission is to assist people in creating healthy balance and harmony in their lives through Reiki, Energy Medicine, Hypnotherapy and Feng Shui Space Clearing. Sessions are available online or when you visit Santa Fe. Contact her at 505-271-4612 MST or email: [email protected].
Disclaimer:
Whose Problem Is It? should not be considered as an exclusive method of mental / emotional stress. The appropriate medical or psychotherapeutic authorities should be consulted for the diagnosis and treatment of any medical or psychological condition. The information and practices described on this website are best considered as educational and complementary to orthodox medical or psychological treatments.
Protected: Renegotiating Soul Connections
Stuck in the Past
How to Change Negative Situations In the New Paradigm ~
Are you stuck in the past?
At any point in the New Paradigm, you may need to quickly release a worry, compulsion or power struggle that you’ve held onto that’s really holding you back.
With the help of Snake Medicine and other Animal Spirits from Gifts from the Rainforest, you can let go in a sensible way and adapt to some better behavior by starting with this short quiz…
Part I: Quiz – What is Going On?
Are You Being Bothered By Worry or Negative Thoughts?
As you gaze at the Circle below, go ahead and search for mind for a problem that you’re stuck on and don’t know how to change.
“I find the negative thoughts about ____________ and free myself of them.”
“My new intention is to aim for balance, health, happiness and ____________.”
Notice how sticky this is and how much energy is involved in the struggle!
Mind Body Integration
For best results, look at each symbol both crossed over the midline of the body and uncrossed so that the correction is more complete.
What Else Is Going on?
Other things might be happening. Sometimes there’s a karmic entanglement with other people, groups or power structures. Are you involved in a situation where you need to separate yourself out from controlling or harmful manipulations? If so, use this affirmation:
“I make a decision to release and let go of harmful entanglements.”
Is Your Health or Prosperity Being Affected Negatively?
Are you being distracted? Have you placed your hopes in a losing proposition? Are you stubbornly holding onto ideas, structures or systems that are actually blocking you? Are you trying to do too many things? Are you caught up in a web of deceit?
If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, ask your heart:
“What can be done about it?”
Are There Any Other Dangers That You Ought to be Aware Of?
There are always those who would love to take advantage of our blind spots. You could be stuck because you’re being exploited in some way. Your energy might be getting drained. A person or group could be trying to cling to you, dump their problems or just interfere with your plans. The easiest ways for them to succeed is either by seducing you with flattery or trying to get you angry through insults and intimidation. Don’t buy into these ploys!
“I identify danger and determine how to deal with it effectively.”
Part II: How Can You Help Yourself?
Now that you have a better idea about what’s going on, you can gently let go and adapt to some more effective ways to handle your situation. If you’d like to do that, continue with this simple Mind Exercise using the Intuitive Learning Circles.
When You’re Stuck in the Past, Change Your Agreements.
Imagine you can gently untie those agreements or burn them in a cleansing fire.
“I decide to let go of worry or negative thoughts about _________ (patiently take it one subject at a time).”
“I stop buying into controlling or fearful manipulations.”
“I let go of ___________ and behaviors that threaten to entangle me with ________. I stop buying into flattery, distractions, lies and ___________.”
“My new agreement is to stay centered and true to myself. I am free to say ‘no’ and _____________.”
Getting Unstuck From the Past ~
The old paradigm or Piscean Age that closed out between 2021 and 2022 was governed by the element of Water. The flow of Water goes down and follows the path of least resistance. When it accumulates, it can easily get stuck and stagnate.
The new flow of energy governed by Aquarius is Air. That means the life force available to us is much lighter, quicker and can be easily moved in all directions. It doesn’t require nearly as much effort. In fact, too much force can cause overreactions and serious imbalances.
The way we used to process things before the transition does not work well in the new energy that exists now. To help you adjust, release your agreements to process emotions or manifest in the old way:
“I slow down and adapt to the changing energy flows.”
“I adjust to the lighter, quicker, generative flow of Air.”
“I pull back the amount of force and effort I’m using to accomplish my goals.”
“I stop processing emotions through the downward channels of the Piscean Age.”
“I let go of the heaviness and stagnation.”
Let Go of Maintaining the Status Quo and Connect with a Template of Common Ground for the Common Good:
Mother Earth is changing and it will help to connect with her natural imprint so that we may more easily change how we’re relating to her and to each other.
“I decide to let go of old imprints of exploitation and integrate with the imprint of creating Common Good on Common Ground.”
“I stop dumping my emotional poison into the Earth.”
“I choose to be responsible and connect with the Earth in positive, productive ways.”
“I work with the Earth to support life and create balanced prosperity.”
Release Your Agreements to Use STAGNANT YIN ENERGY:
Unfortunately, many people are using toxic and stagnant water energy to process how they’re feeling. This “stuck” energy relates to current social tendencies such as apathy, resistance, self-pity, co-dependence and laziness.
Are you inadvertently using stagnant water energy? If so, you would be wise to release your agreements to utilize such a stagnant energy flow:
“I let go of old, heavy, stagnant or destructive flows of Water.”
Utilize Pure Water to Process and Clear Emotions.
Instead, make a conscious choice to activate a new relationship with the Element of Water – fresh and purified to gently clear emotions, imbalances and the residual effects of past indifference and abuse.
This affirmation will help you make an actual adjustment in how you relate to and utilize this precious resource:
“I now make a conscious decision to use pure, life affirming Water to process my emotions, support vibrant health and create balanced prosperity.”
Come From A Place of Joy and Gratitude Rather than Fear and Revenge:
Worry generally comes from a negative place. You can source from a different place that connects you in with your Soul.
“I decide to source my responses from a place of Joy and Gratitude rather than fear, greed or vengeance.”
This affirmation will help you make a breakthrough in how you feel and connect with the Divine:
“I exist – the Divine exists. We are not separate.”
“I connect with the Power that is found in my heart and Soul.”
Ask for Help from Your Soul.
Manifesting effectively under this new influence of Air will require many new skills that only a true connection with our Divine Nature will be able to help us with.
“I ask my Soul for help, especially in regards to ___________.”
“I connect with the clear electro-magnetic signature of my Soul.”
“I erase signatures & interferences that block integrity, like old graffiti markings. I release them to the Light.”
Gather Up Your Senses to Function in Alignment with Your Soul.
Be sure you’re using your senses to correctly assess what’s really going on and the changes you’re going to need to adjust to. Begin by relaxing with this Reiki Chakra Key for a minute or so to connect with your senses and Rational Thought Chakras. They are essential to help you accurately determine what spiritual or physical shifts are necessary and what would be effective.
“I gather up all of my senses and use them to get present and perceive my concerns clearly.”
“I use them to shed light on my blind spots.”
“I use them to discern the difference between helpful and harmful energies.”
“I use my senses to find genuinely helpful solutions.”
Part III: Recalibrate Your Energy
Toxic Attachments May Keep You Stuck in the Past ~
Various parts of your energy field may be damaged or struggling with negative energies like smoke, chemicals, illness or other attachments that inhibit your health. Use this Key to relax and meditate on for as long as you like. Like a healing balm, imagine that a loving coat of peace and comfort is pouring down over you.
“My energy system can easily and effectively neutralize interfering energies and detach from them.”
Correct Reversals and Blockages ~
When we’re under extreme stress, it’s not uncommon for the chakras and/or meridians to start running in reverse or shut down entirely. Relax and let this symbol help you make corrections.
“I repair any reversals, holes or blockages affecting my energy or mindset.”
Take all the time you need to let your energy smooth out. Be sure to do that both crossed and uncrossed until you can begin to feel the energy of your Soul coming through.
Calm Your Nervous System ~
The same could be happening in your nervous system. Use this Soul Prayer Chart to help you smooth out discordant energies that exacerbate your anxiety and stress. Gently detach from the struggles of survival, pushing, fear and competition. Tune into the rhythm and calm of your parasympathetic nervous system.
“I come into harmony with the rhythm of my Soul.”
To access that place of peace it can be helpful for you to breathe, hum or gently rock yourself back and forth.
Clear Shadow Energies with an Infusion of Divine Light ~
Radiate light throughout your auric bodies with the full power of the Divine and Angelic Realms. Keep your attention on the strength and beauty of the light rather than the darkness.
Paying too much attention to problems only creates more of them.
Allow the Light from the Divine and your Soul to cleanse and heal you completely from within.
“I ask the Divine to remove attachments, negativity and dark energies from my subtle energy field.”
Do this both crossed and uncrossed over the midline of your body.
Finish Your Business ~
You’re almost finished now, yet there’s still some business that keeps you stuck in the past. These thoughts keep bothering you for a reason!
Use Snake Medicine to help you pull back and look at your situation from a distance.
What do you need to realize here?
Is there some kind of extreme idea or belief that you need to shed?
Do you need to pull yourself out of a negative energy or situation?
Do you need to transform a negative tendency of your own?
Do you need to behave differently?
Most importantly, are you leaving yourself open to negative energies?
If so, use this Circle to gently shed them so you can bring your energy back into balance.
Connect the Hara Lines ~
You may need to repair and/or strengthen hara lines for centering and improved healing. The hara lines are like tiny webs of light that connect the chakras to your center and extend throughout your body. Sometimes they’re broken or damaged because of trauma, illness, toxicity or sudden changes in the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight).
Starlight Medicine gives extra energy to the hara lines that connect your chakras.
“I repair and strengthen my hara lines.”
“My chakras are connected properly with my Soul
through a beautiful web of light.”
This Circle also helps us navigate where we are and to organize our consciousness around being present. “I am present and inside of my body. External pressures and harmful energies are outside.”
Turn It Around ~
Now it’s time to make sure you’re tapping into positive energy and the new generative energies that are available in the New Paradigm.
“I decide to tap into positive energies and nurture myself.”
“I am open to being nurtured in new and beneficial ways.”
Utilize Generative Energy Flow ~
“I close old energy channels from the past that are causing harm.”
I now embrace the new generative flow of the Aquarian Age and use it to support my health, my prosperity and my happiness.”
Release Harmful Intentions that Keep You Stuck in the Past ~
Imagine all the things you used to wish for that have either been accomplished or that are no longer something you want. It’s time to let them go.
“I release any wishes or prayers that are irrelevant or harmful to me now.”
“My new intention is to _________ and to nurture my highest good.”
Dissolve Destructive Blueprints ~
Use this symbol to help you surrender any mental/emotional patterns that may be blocking positive thoughts, input and outcomes.
Patiently, bring in the Light and let it clear your energy field. Release your thoughts and worry until the darkness is all gone. The Light is transmuting, transforming and completing this stage of your Soul’s journey.
Please note: It’s time to stop sending destructive or toxic energies down into the Earth, she already has too much to handle now. Use the Earth for planting seeds of happiness and life – not death!
In the same way, clear away any violent thought forms that may be affecting you. Surrender them to the Light if possible.
Bring Closure to Old Pathways and Embrace Protection ~
Remember to close the pathways in your mind that lead back to suffering.
If those pathways remain open, all kinds of trouble (violent thought forms, karma, issues or emotions) can continue to pass back and forth through the opening without your awareness. This can manifest in sudden and mysterious illnesses, mental confusion, issues with prosperity or chronic states of overwhelm.
“I choose healthy boundaries and to be done with this sticky situation.”
“All holes, doors or passageways are sealed and healed.”
“I follow the direction of my Soul’s protection.”
Be sure to see them closed completely both crossed and uncrossed over the midline of your body.
Check Back Into Your Mosquito Mind Again ~
Remember the problem you started out this exercise with…
How are you seeing it? Is there another issue involved that keeps you stuck in the past?
If so, you can go through the exercise again later, with that issue in mind.
Finish With Closing Insights from Your Inner Guidance ~
Is there anything else that you need to know? Is there anything to change or prepare for?
Congratulations!
You are learning how to manage your energy effectively in the New Paradigm.
Now would be an excellent time to take a break and do something completely different. Go out for a walk in Nature, stretch or play a word game. After all, variety is the spice of life… plus, a break will help you to integrate what you’ve learned.
Whatever you do though, be sure to breathe deeply!
This Mind Exercise is Part of Spirit Animal Tracks for Self-healing
You are invited to Sign Up for the Intuitive Learning Circle Ezine
Specialized Energy Clearing with the Author of Soul Oriented Solutions
If you feel that Stuck in the Past has helped, but hasn’t addressed all of your needs, Rheanni Lightwater, BFA, CHT, CKP has 25+ years experience in the art and science of mind body healing. Contact her for a private session if you still feel worried or overwhelmed.
Ms. Lightwater’s mission is to assist people in creating healthy balance and harmony in their lives through energy medicine, hypnotherapy and feng shui clearing.
Schedule with Rheanni via Zoom, FaceTime or in person when you visit Santa Fe, New Mexico. Call or text (505) 271-4612 between 10:00am – 5:00pm, MST, Monday through Friday to schedule or email: [email protected]
Disclaimer: This Mind Exercise should not be considered as an exclusive method of treatment. The appropriate medical or psychotherapeutic authorities should be consulted for the diagnosis and treatment of any medical or psychological condition. The information and practices described on this website are best considered as an adjunct to orthodox medical or psychological treatments.
Protected: Healthy Communications in Relationships
Nourish Healthy Relationships
Did you know that you instinctively know the difference between toxic and healthy relationships?
The intent of this Transformation Game is to help you identify healthy relationships that are actually nourishing to you in your current situation. A relationship may have been healthy at one time and is now going through a change. Or, you may be starting a whole new journey in a whole new place!
Start by choosing a relationship that is integral to your well-being, one that you know you need help with and are willing to look at honestly. Examples might be: a romantic partner, a business partnership, a family member or a previous relationship. This exercise can also help you identify helpful team members, such as a health practitioner you’re working with or another professional you’re thinking of hiring.
Mind Body Integration
For best results playing a Transformation Game, look at each Circle both crossed over the midline of the body and uncrossed so that the correction is more complete.
Transformation Games can help you to identify problems, change your focus to positive solutions, ground yourself and get in the present. Simply relax and gaze at the Circles while contemplating the positive affirmations or questions. Your intuition will come forward and give you the help that you seek.
Recognizing Healthy Relationships
The Solar Plexus Chakra is key to knowing whether or not a relationship is nourishing or toxic to you. 
Your gut feeling is the best lie detector and has all the information it needs about healthy relationships – as long as you’re present and paying attention! It’s just that for some reason, the information is being blocked from your conscious awareness and you can’t see the signs.
Take a moment and relax with this Reiki Chakra Key for your solar plexus to help you get present. Use the positive affirmations if they help or come up with one of your own.
“I am present and open to my gut instincts. I trust myself.”
“I am _____________________.”
Your Essential Self is most efficiently positioned and grounded there to help you manifest, create happiness and maintain your health.
In stressful times, it’s pretty common for the Essential Self to get closed off, misplaced or dissociated. You can correct that now with this Soul Prayer Chart.
Make sure that you have a sense that your Essence is facing forward and up right.
There are several ways that gut instinct gets blocked. Two that are particularly relevant in times like these are being in too much of a hurry and getting distracted.
Distractions keep us from taking good care of ourselves. If we’re always busy, busy, busy and not paying attention to our basic needs, we’re asking for trouble.
Of course we have all kinds of excuses that make it seem all right. “I ran out of time… I have to get this done… there’s too much going on…” etc.
Check your response to these statements and notice if you get stuck on either of them:
“I get distracted. I get in too much of a hurry. I overlook my gut feeling.”
So, let’s slow down and think about the source of your relationship trouble. Relax into it. Is there a particular person, group or relationship system that seems to be at the core of the problem?
Sadly, many of us we spend too much time or energy on toxic relationships that aren’t particularly good for us. You know the kind I’m talking about:
- the wolf in sheep’s clothing that uses flattery to charm and disarm you.
- the whiners that are oh, so good at making you feel sorry for them.
- the wunderkinds who go out of their way to impress you.
- the meddlers who insert themselves into things that are none of their business
- or bullies that just want to intimidate and make you miserable.
Are you attracting a lot of that?
If your answer is “no” count yourself lucky. You must have very good relationship karma!
If your answer is “yes,” go ahead and continue this mind exercise to see what might be going on…
Slow Down and Focus
Let’s see what’s going on for you by experimenting with one of our Intuitive Learning Circles for slowing down and focusing on what’s really important.
“I slow down and focus on what I need when it comes to my _______ relationships.”
If you’re thinking about a particular relationship, it’s worth your time to really slow down and ask yourself a couple of honest questions:
“What is my concern about this particular relationship?”
Clarify the nature of the relationship. Is this person a friend, business associate, boss, family, lover, etc.?
“What is the confusion about?”
Check for Good Boundaries
Most relationships have their own irritations, resistances and rough patches. Where is the irritation in this relationship? What is it about?
Are you taking something personally or internalizing something that isn’t yours? Are you being codependent in some way?
If so, use this Circle to help you open your energy up wide and let those irritations go. Send it all to the Light!
Once you’re done, close your energy back up.
What else what might you do to soothe the situation?
Examine Emotional Reactions
Sometimes people trigger emotional responses in us that come out of our childhood conditioning or earlier relationships. A certain familiar tip of the head or tone of voice can be very potent.
Most of the time, the people in our relationships have no idea about what’s happening. You have very little power over them. However, you can be responsible for your own reactions. Ask yourself:
“What is the main emotion or emotions I’m feeling when around this person?”
“Does it happen only in certain situations?”
“Does this relationship remind me of another person? A painful experience?”
Could you be experiencing a projection – a harmful attitude, a phobia or an obsession?
If so, imagine you can pop that projection, just like a bubble! There could be more than one, so imagine popping them all away!
Clear the Remaining Clutter
Sometimes we attract disturbing or stressful relationship issues because our minds are cluttered up with disturbing, stressful thoughts.
Imagine that you can use this Circle to clear the clutter out of the landscape of your mind. Sweep all that junk and chaos out of your head and send it to the Light! You might be surprised at how much clutter there is!
That’s one of the reasons why people like to meditate. It’s a great way to develop a regular habit of clearing debris out of the mind!
Evaluate How You’re Using Your Energy to Nourish Healthy Relationships.
Now that you’re present, focused and clear, you can get some accurate information about how you’re nourishing yourself. This section can give you all kinds of answers that could really help you make a big improvement in your happiness. All you have to do is relax and gaze softly at the center open space of this Circle while you ask yourself a few questions. Use a scale of one to ten to evaluate what’s going on (one being lousy and ten being great!). Be sure to listen to your gut and be receptive to the answers that come.
Ask yourself when it comes to this person:
On a scale of one to ten:
“How is this person nourishing me- Emotionally?
Professionally?
Intellectually?
Spiritually?
What, if anything, is missing?
Is there a beneficial exchange of energy?
Have I closed myself off in some way?
What, if anything, could be done to cultivate a more healthy relationship?
Release or Renegotiate Agreements
Most rules about relationships are rooted in old ideas and systems that we grew up with as children.
In the New Paradigm, a lot of those old agreements and assumptions cause problems and keep us from having truly healthy relationships.
In this particular relationship, what agreements need to be amended, reformed or let go of entirely?
“I let go of ___________.”
“I reform ________.”
“I amend my agreement to ______.”
“I stop participating in ________.”
“I uproot ______, _______, &_________.”
Connect with the New, Life Affirming Channels of Communication.
Install this symbol like a sort of filter for the Solar Plexus Chakra.
“I adapt to the generative flow of chi’ to the best of my ability.”
“I close down harmful energy channels from the past.”
“I connect to new, life affirming channels of communication.”
“I’m open to receiving the most nourishing and life affirming energy available in my environment.”
Release the Mental/ Emotional Patterns
Imagine that this symbol for Dissolving Destructive Blueprints can help you identify and dissolve any toxic imprints or patterns that may be preventing healthy relationships. You might see them as a dark cloud dissolving into the pure light of the Sun.
“I release the blockages and entanglements that keep me from experiencing healthy relationships.”
“I release patterns that keep me from experiencing joy.”
I dissolve any old ideas, plans or relationship systems at would contradict my highest good or cause me harm.”
Please note: We also need to cultivate a healthy relationship with our planet! Never send destructive energies into the Earth, she already has too much to handle now. Use the Earth for planting seeds of happiness and life – not death!
Let Go of Old, Outdated Intentions
Gaze softly into the center of this Circle and see ancient intentions like eggs or seeds waiting to be activated. Not only do you see your own intentions and prayers, but also cultural, ancestral goals that no longer have life affirming motivations behind them.
Visualize them like ingredients in a soup that is spoiling your genuinely desired outcome. Imagine you can scoop out any unpreferred intentions and send them to the Light:
“I let go of all intentions that would contradict my highest good, cause confusion or conflict in how we all create healthy relationships.”
Release the Karma
Release any seeds of karma that perpetuate habits and beliefs that keep you from nourishing healthy relationships properly. Send them to the Light for purification.
“I plant new karmic seeds for good things that will support my new choices. I nourish those seeds with love, Light, fresh water and healthy intentions.”
Close the Door on Suffering and Unhealthy Pathways
Now it’s time to close the door on all that confusion and move in the direction of nourishing yourself appropriately.
“I close the door on any drain or strain on my time, space, attention or energy.”
“I follow the direction of my Soul’s protection.”
Congratulations! You’ve just let go of harmful energies, emotions and misunderstandings. Now you can begin to set the stage for NOURISHING healthy relationships appropriately.
Be sure to take time to rest and relax. Take a walk or get out into nature if you can!
This Mind Exercise is Part of Spirit Animal Tracks for Self-healing
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Disclaimer:
This game should not be considered as an exclusive method of treatment. The appropriate medical or psychotherapeutic authorities should be consulted for the diagnosis and treatment of any medical or psychological condition. The information and practices described on this website are best considered as an adjunct to orthodox medical or psychological treatments.
