Are You Setting Limitations That Are Strong Enough to Maintain Healthy Boundaries in Times of Social Upheaval?
As we enter into the New Paradigm of equality and personal responsibility, setting LIMITATIONS becomes more and more essential to our health and well-being.
“Am I being dumped on or scapegoated? If so, how am I contributing to the problem?”
“Is my energy field resilient enough to repel interference?”
“What can I do about it (without creating more drama) in a non-violent, yet effective way?”
Welcome to the I Ching Reading and Transformation Game for: Hexagram #60 Setting LIMITATIONS for Strong Boundaries ~
“Extravagant behavior and lack of restraint has led you into a state of difficulty. If you are now feeling regret over this and not busy placing the blame elsewhere, you will avoid further mistakes.” ~ The I Ching Workbook, R.L. Wing
When people choose to blame others and you happen to be in their crossfires, you’re liable to be dumped on energetically, even if you’re not directly involved with the situation. This tendency is especially common among highly sensitive people.
In this context, when someone is being “dumped on” (or scapegoated), it means that they’re consciously or unconsciously taking on responsibility for other people’s feelings, karma, behavior, etc. This method of coping is usually learned early on in life and can cause great suffering for the “dumpee.” In contrast, it creates quite a bit of freedom for the “dumper.”
Sometimes dumpers just feel overwhelmed and are looking for relief, as in the case of a small child. However, some people never learn to handle their own feelings and go around unconsciously looking for someone to shame, blame and/or dump their issues on.
Unfortunately, narcissistic people actually dump on others purposely to further their quest for power and control. A big, red flag for that is when they want you to feel sorry for them. “Poor me. I have it so hard!” Watch out… that means the energetic dump truck is pulling up to your driveway!
Another way that unsuspecting people get dumped on is through flattery and adulation. “You’re so wonderful! Your work is so amazing… you’re such a great leader, healer, mother, artist, etc.” If you’re wise, you won’t fall for it, because you’re about to be covered with energetic ick and ook from the ethers!
The truth is, unless you want to spend your life cleaning up after others, rather than living your own dreams, you’re going to have to start setting limitations.
All forms of dumping are either: inexperience (as in the case of a small child) or an abuse of power based on co-dependence and a desire to escape responsibility. The examples mentioned are merely situations where dumping is far more likely to happen.
If you feel you are in such a situation and want to do something constructive to help yourself, you can go through this Transformation Game on Setting Limitations. Simply relax and gaze at the Circles while contemplating the questions or positive affirmations that go with them. Your intuition will come forward and give you the help that you seek.
Begin By Gaging Your Willingness to Change:
If you’re willing to examine your personal habits and are setting LIMITATIONS for yourself that are healthy and life affirming, you can learn to stop being a dumpee. To get started, ask yourself:
“Have I been willing to let other people dump on me? Have I allowed it to happen a lot in the past?”
“Am I willing to stop this tendency in myself and build greater resiliency into my energy field?”
If you have a tendency to be caught off guard by others, now is the time to set stronger LIMITATIONS. Ask your Self, “Am I currently experiencing situations where:
1) There’s a lot of incompetence or my privacy is being disrespected?
2) People are noncooperative, argumentative or easily offended?
3) There is poor health or breakups in friendship or family relations?”
If so, Setting LIMITATIONS is definitely called for.
In situations like these, forceful displays of power will absolutely backfire. Realize that you’re being baited. Do nothing to aggressively confront people in regard to those particular situations and be very conservative with any investment of energy, time or money. Doing so would probably result in a nasty bout of dumping.
The best things to do when dealing with the “dumper/dumpee” dynamic is to:
- Stay calm and stand your ground by rejecting whatever is being dumped.
- Notice what’s happening and take care of yourself very sensibly.
- Don’t take the bait of getting into a fight. Remove yourself from the situation.
- Be generous and kind to those you care about and trust, while you stay out of their business.
- Find new avenues of behavior that genuinely support your well-being.
Let me repeat…
If you don’t want to be dumped on, don’t engage in dramatic emotional exchanges. That’s because whenever you’re caught up in emotional turmoil or flattery, you’re in an excellent energetic position to be dumped on. And that’s true regardless of whether the emotion is positive or negative.
To help yourself, gaze softly at this symbol and imagine that whatever has been dumped on you is being returned to where ever it belongs.
Then imagine your own karmic seeds for harmful or co-dependent habits are being purified through fire.
“I purify my karmic tendency towards co-dependence and self-destruction. I now make a commitment to my higher good.”
Detach from the collective “herd mentality” of self- pity.
“I let go of feeling sorry for myself or others. I decide to embrace self-responsibility and healthy self-care.”
Release Your Agreement with Abusive, Codependent Behavior.
Tell your neurological system that you are done with behavior that puts you in harm’s way – like shaming and blaming yourself or continuing to hang out with people who have dumped on you multiple times.
“I release my agreement to ____________________________.”
“I release any agreement I have to abuse myself in this way. I detach from harming or disrespecting myself now and in the future.”
Include situations like watching too much media, buying into gossip, conflicts, contradictions, obligations, “duty”, exaggerated self-importance, lies, trickery or someone else’s delusional suffering.
Release the Conflicts:
You may be experiencing shock that’s interfering with your ability to sense what’s really going on.
You can address that by relaxing and bringing your senses into correct balance so that you can accurately scan your body and energy field for other dense and hardened energies.
“I connect and balance my rational senses.”
You can even do it for the immediate space around you.
Adjust your senses so that you can perceive correctly.
Continue to relax and use this affirmation to help you release whatever is causing conflict in you.
“I stop gripping on _____________.”
“I release the conflict around _______________ or anything else that causes me harm. “
You can use this Circle like a telescope to help you find fixations in your mind and energy field. Once you find one, use the symbol to send a laser beam to break it apart or melt it like an iceberg in the Sun. There may be more than one. Break up any fixations that you find!
Communicate with Your Soul:
Open the connection to your spirit through your Heart. Allow your energy to reorganize in accordance with what’s best for you at this time. Acknowledge that there may be some interference that’s blocking you from the truth.
“I acknowledge that my energy needs to be recalibrated to connect with the truthful and positive influence of my spirit.”
“I exist and what happens to me matters.”
Dissolve any harmful thoughts or emotions that have kept you in the dark.
It might help to imagine those patterns like dark clouds that obstruct the light. See the darkness dissolve and dissipate into sunlight and clear blue skies.
“I dissolve the confusion and chaos. I let go of needing to please others. I let go of the need to_______________.”
“I seal and heal all ways that others dump on me. I am safe.”
“I now head in the direction of my Souls true purpose.”
Be sure to do that both crossed and uncrossed over the midline of your body!
Setting Limitations On How You Contribute to the Problem:
If you let your thoughts slow down, you can begin to sense what’s contributing to your problems.
The very awareness of how you’re tied into the problem reveals possible solutions.
“I slow down and consider my situation carefully.
Is there something about this situation that I’m missing and need to know?
Do I understand the part I have played in this situation?”
In this lighter, clearer mind space, ask yourself:
“What makes sense to do next?” or “How can I best protect myself in this situation?”
Congratulations! You’ve taken an important first step towards protecting your Self from being dumped on. Taking the time now to understand how you have unknowingly contributed to your own suffering is truly a gift of self-love.
The following extra-intuitive activities aren’t required, but they can really help you prevent future suffering…
Note: At any point during the rest of this Transformation Game, you may need to go back to the Release Fixations section to look for and clear additional fixations.
Setting Limitations On What You’re Attracting:
If you’re approaching situations with an attitude of “I’m going to fix this,” or “I’m supposed to rescue this person or change how they are thinking / behaving,” you’re setting yourself up to fall into the dumper/dumpee trap. To avoid it, stay centered and focused on your own integrity.
* If you have a copy of The Essential Human, now would be a good time to use Emotional Corrections A – E between pages 97 and 101 to access and balance energies you’re pulling from the ‘field of potential’.
Going through this process will help you draw on the kinds of spiritual / emotional ingredients that will support your integrity.
“I am focused on my own integrity.”
Setting Limitations on What Kinds of Situations You Participate In:
Put your feet on the floor and ground in the New Paradigm – a consciousness of equality, personal responsibility and sustainable prosperity.
Once you’re feeling grounded, ask for the very best.
“I now access healthy nourishment and support for my Souls true purpose.”
Imagine that you can form strong, healthy boundaries with this affirmation:
“I am surrounded with courage and determination. I reject and repel shame, blame, frustration, jealousy, impatience, panic and _________.”
The fact that you have taken the time now to strengthen your boundaries and protect yourself will serve you well throughout your life.
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Rheanni Lightwater CHT, CKT lives and practices in Santa Fe, NM. She specializes in mind body healing with family and relationship clearing using Kinesiology, the Intuitive Learning Circles™, Reiki as a Master/Teacher, Hypnotherapy and Shamanic Clearing Techniques.
Schedule with Rheanni via Zoom, Skype or in person when you visit Santa Fe, New Mexico. Call her at (505) 271-4612 between 10:00am – 5:00pm, MST, Monday through Friday to schedule.
This Transformation Game should not be considered as an exclusive method of treatment. The appropriate medical or psychotherapeutic authorities should be consulted for the diagnosis and treatment if there is any medical or psychological condition. The information and practices described on this website are best considered as an adjunct to orthodox medical or psychological treatments.